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Running In Heels

Dear Sugar
My boyfriend and I have been dating for a little over a year and I have since moved to another city. We see each other every chance we get and he came to visit me last weekend. We were getting ready to go out one night and when he was in the shower, I came across something quite alarming.

I was tidying up around the house and found his Nike high top under the bed with a lady's high heel in it! I looked for the other pair thinking maybe somehow a heel got caught in there, but to my dismay, the other high top had a high heel in it too!

I have never heard of anything like that! My boyfriend is not very tall and I was thinking that maybe he is wearing the high heels to make himself look and feel taller? Do you think that he could be gay or bisexual? Is he a cross dresser? I am so confused and very worried. Horrified Hudson

To see DEARSUGAR's answer

Dear Horrified Hudson
I have never heard of a man wearing ladies shoes inside sneakers before - is that even possible? I am sure your imagination is running wild right now so you need to confront your boyfriend immediately. Could he have been playing a trick on you? Have you ever noticed anything like this before? Have you noticed any other major changes in his behavior?

If you think he could be gay, that is something that you need to get to the bottom of. You deserve to know if your boyfriend has other sexual interests than you. Try talking to him frankly about what you've found and see what he has to say. Make sure he feels safe and let him know your findings were very disconcerting and ask him if he is hiding anything from you.

Set aside your own feelings and understand what he could be going through. If he is in fact hiding his sexuality from you, try and be as patient and understanding as possible. Of course it's only natural to be surprised, but please be mindful of your words. When men wear women's clothing, it doesn't necessarily mean they are gay or bisexual, but he could be transsexual.

Are you still intimate? Have his Internet searches changed at all? Check out his movie collection, does he have any gay porn? Has his group of friends changed or does he surround himself with other gay or trans gendered people? All the emotions running through your head are what ifs until you talk to him. Hopefully this is just a misunderstanding and your relationship will be spared.

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