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Say What? Has Fay Weldon, Former Feminist, Given Up?


"'Women want boyfriends to be like their girlfriends, fun to go to the pictures with, but men are not like that. They want sex and they grunt. If you really want a man to be nice to you, never give him a hard time, never talk about emotions and never ask him how he is feeling."

Fay Weldon, British novelist most famous for The Life and Loves of a She-Devil, a tale of one woman's revenge against her cheating husband. In the same interview, the author formerly known as a feminist suggests that life would be easier if women cleaned up after men, cooked for them, and were less picky about their mates. What do you think of her about-face as a feminist, her ideas about how women should behave, and her stereotypes of men as unable — and unwilling — to discuss emotions?

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pink-pirate pink-pirate 6 years
So it doesn't matter if the man wants to have a baby with you? If he's there, you're in your early 20s, and he's sort of alright, go for it? This is the most anti-feminist thing I have ever heard. Since when are babies so important that having a supportive partner/father to go with them is now irrelevant?Honeybrown I'm not waiting for Brad Pitt, I have a man at home thanks very much!
pink-pirate pink-pirate 6 years
So it doesn't matter if the man wants to have a baby with you? If he's there, you're in your early 20s, and he's sort of alright, go for it? This is the most anti-feminist thing I have ever heard. Since when are babies so important that having a supportive partner/father to go with them is now irrelevant? Honeybrown I'm not waiting for Brad Pitt, I have a man at home thanks very much!
Choco-cat Choco-cat 6 years
very disappointed
Choco-cat Choco-cat 6 years
very disappointed
dikke-kus dikke-kus 6 years
HoneyBrown you gave a really good comment. Perhaps that is what she is trying to say. Also it's interesting what she says about having babies early. Perhaps this is a comment on women who work their whole lives then have to start fertility drugs at 40 since they waited too long? Although if you have kids early you better have money for a nanny if you want a career. The men don't' stick around at home and give up their careers even in 2009. I still don't get the cleaning and cooking part, but my husband is screwed on that one. I'm a terrible cook and he took over the dishes. He said I don't clean them properly. Oh well.
dikke-kus dikke-kus 6 years
HoneyBrown you gave a really good comment. Perhaps that is what she is trying to say. Also it's interesting what she says about having babies early. Perhaps this is a comment on women who work their whole lives then have to start fertility drugs at 40 since they waited too long? Although if you have kids early you better have money for a nanny if you want a career. The men don't' stick around at home and give up their careers even in 2009. I still don't get the cleaning and cooking part, but my husband is screwed on that one. I'm a terrible cook and he took over the dishes. He said I don't clean them properly. Oh well.
ckeller825 ckeller825 6 years
"....life would be easier if women cleaned up after men, cooked for them, and were less picky about their mates." She might have a point, but I don't agree with this at all. Women should not have to pick up after grown-ass men! They are adults...they don't need to leave stuff laying around, "waiting" for their girlfriend/wife to clean up after them. My dad was never like that, and I don't plan on marrying a man like that!
ckeller825 ckeller825 6 years
"....life would be easier if women cleaned up after men, cooked for them, and were less picky about their mates."She might have a point, but I don't agree with this at all. Women should not have to pick up after grown-ass men! They are adults...they don't need to leave stuff laying around, "waiting" for their girlfriend/wife to clean up after them.My dad was never like that, and I don't plan on marrying a man like that!
HoneyBrown1976 HoneyBrown1976 6 years
I agree with her. Pink Pirate, let's be real. Some women are really holding out for this imaginary perfect guy. They center everything in their lives around this "one", while forgoing aspects of their lives that can make them stronger. Stop looking for Brad Pitt and go after Brad Morgenstern. That's what she's saying. There's no such thing as perfection.
HoneyBrown1976 HoneyBrown1976 6 years
I agree with her.Pink Pirate, let's be real. Some women are really holding out for this imaginary perfect guy. They center everything in their lives around this "one", while forgoing aspects of their lives that can make them stronger. Stop looking for Brad Pitt and go after Brad Morgenstern. That's what she's saying. There's no such thing as perfection.
pink-pirate pink-pirate 6 years
I was going to defend her statement until I read the article."She also said women should have babies early, then go out to work, and suggested they should be less picky in the search for a partner. 'As long as you have a sort of semi-good looking, able-bodied, intelligent man, you should have his baby,' she said."There is so very much wrong with this.
pink-pirate pink-pirate 6 years
I was going to defend her statement until I read the article. "She also said women should have babies early, then go out to work, and suggested they should be less picky in the search for a partner. 'As long as you have a sort of semi-good looking, able-bodied, intelligent man, you should have his baby,' she said." There is so very much wrong with this.
Pistil Pistil 6 years
My vagina isn't better, it's just different :) Though I'm not sure where I stand with Fay Weldon. Some things I can agree with, others not so much.
Pistil Pistil 6 years
My vagina isn't better, it's just different :)Though I'm not sure where I stand with Fay Weldon. Some things I can agree with, others not so much.
Muirnea Muirnea 6 years
^ Agreed.I also think she's kind of trying to say that men and women are just different. But I do disagree with the other stuff she says. Feminism: people should have equal rights, but that doesn't literally make women and men equal. We are different. Just like different races aren't better or worse than each other. We all have different strengths. And I agree that girls expect their bf's to be like their girlfriends. I know I do! Hahaha, and I'm not saying it's right, but I'm not to the point yet where I can admit there isn't a guy out there that will be a good "girlfriend". I will find him!!! LOL :-P
Muirnea Muirnea 6 years
^ Agreed. I also think she's kind of trying to say that men and women are just different. But I do disagree with the other stuff she says. Feminism: people should have equal rights, but that doesn't literally make women and men equal. We are different. Just like different races aren't better or worse than each other. We all have different strengths. And I agree that girls expect their bf's to be like their girlfriends. I know I do! Hahaha, and I'm not saying it's right, but I'm not to the point yet where I can admit there isn't a guy out there that will be a good "girlfriend". I will find him!!! LOL :-P
mermei mermei 6 years
I don't agree with everything she says, but this (from the linked article) strikes me as very true, "But the trouble is, the battle became too fierce, and the whole culture encouraged women to believe that men are stupid, useless creatures who are the enemy." TV sit-coms are filled with useless dads who are like an extra child and lots of women follow suit in their own lives. Modern feminism doesn't always seem to recognize that within the concept of equality, there are still fundamental differences between the sexes - more women might care where those dirty socks live until laundry day and more men might not. I thought this was her larger point.
LonelyShifter LonelyShifter 6 years
I totally agree with spacekatgal. These comments are really demeaning to both men and women. Perpetuating stereotypes about men being unfeeling slobs and women being demanding and high maintenance is silly. She can live in whatever world she wants to, but she can leave me out of her generalizations.
LonelyShifter LonelyShifter 6 years
I totally agree with spacekatgal. These comments are really demeaning to both men and women. Perpetuating stereotypes about men being unfeeling slobs and women being demanding and high maintenance is silly.She can live in whatever world she wants to, but she can leave me out of her generalizations.
janneth janneth 6 years
She says all the things women should do to make men happy. And we have heard this all before. It seems like men are never that interested to know all the little things to do to make their women happy.
lickety-split lickety-split 6 years
i had a boyfriend that was as good as a girlfriend. he loved to go shoe shopping with me and liked to pick out my clothes. of course he recentely married his live in boyfriend, but it IS possible to have such a boyfriend if you are willing to give certain things up.
dikke-kus dikke-kus 6 years
Well she strikes a true chord I admit. It can be disappointing sometimes when you expect your husband or boyfriend to have that same close conversation you have with your girlfriends while you shop or something. And the more testosterone they have the more difficult certain things are going to be. Like actually shopping. But I think she does push it a bit too far. In reality I think men feel just as much as we do, but they are built to keep that in. You know to be the man. But they can hurt just like us girls. Anyway she seems like a hoot. I like her.
Quanni-E Quanni-E 6 years
Honestly, to kinda go along with this article, most women expect too much from men. Every man will not do 'girly' things unless ex or food is promised afterwords. If he does, make sure he's not looking at Adam....Just saying.
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