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Scared Around Guys

Group Therapy: I'm Such a Chicken Around Guys

This question is from a Group Therapy post in our TrèsSugar Community.

I really want a boyfriend. I've never had one, so I think it's time. But, whenever I see a guy is going to come up to me, in my mind I'm like "no, no please don't come up to me." I get like all defensive I wouldn't say I get scared because that wouldn't be the right term. And when a guy does come up to me and asks for my number I don't want to give it to him, primarily because I'm not attracted. But, the ones that I am attracted to don't come up to me. But that's besides the point. What can I do to not feel that defensive no no get away from me feeling that I get when I see or think a guy is going to come up to me ? I'm in my early twenties by the way.

Have a dilemma of your own? Post it anonymously to Group Therapy for advice, and check out what else is happening in the TrèsSugar Community.

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desote1 desote1 4 years
Ditto to Joe :)
JoeTyndall JoeTyndall 4 years
OP, To me, it is very clear what you need to do. Stop hanging out at bars trying to meet guys (which is what it sounds like you are doing, please excuse me if I'm wrong on this). Rather, find some activities you like to do (ping-pong, square dancing, whatever), then go do these activites, then meet guys there you like to do these activities with. The first step to finding someone you can be happy with is if you find someone that you share common interests, hobbies, activities, etc., with (not playing Russian roulette trying to get phone numbers from guys). Do not date guys in the beginning, go do common-enjoyed activites together, and delay 'dating' for as long as possible.
desote1 desote1 4 years
Ditto to Joe :)
postmodernsleaze postmodernsleaze 4 years
I agree with Joe here. I have fun meeting people because I try to avoid doing it through the bar scene. Find another activity in which to meet guys that share common interests, and do not jump straight into the dating game with them. I always like to establish whether or not I can have a good time with someone beforehand so I don't end up on a bad or awkward date.
dreamalittledream dreamalittledream 4 years
Meeting guys through mutual friends is a great and non-threatening way to ease into the dating scene. Do you have a friend that's dating someone? Try and integrate you and your gf's group with his group of guy friends.
JoeTyndall JoeTyndall 4 years
OP, To me, it is very clear what you need to do. Stop hanging out at bars trying to meet guys (which is what it sounds like you are doing, please excuse me if I'm wrong on this). Rather, find some activities you like to do (ping-pong, square dancing, whatever), then go do these activites, then meet guys there you like to do these activities with. The first step to finding someone you can be happy with is if you find someone that you share common interests, hobbies, activities, etc., with (not playing Russian roulette trying to get phone numbers from guys). Do not date guys in the beginning, go do common-enjoyed activites together, and delay 'dating' for as long as possible.
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