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Not Seeming Clingy in Long-Distance Relationships

Group Therapy: How Do I Show I Care Without Seeming Clingy?

This question is from a Group Therapy post in our TrèsSugar Community. Add your advice in the comments!

Things are moving along with a guy I have been talking to for quite some time. We don't live near each other but we basically decided there's no one else we'd rather be with after seeing each other about a month ago.

He has been more forthcoming than myself with how he feels (telling me not to fall in love with anyone else — does that mean he might be in love with me? — and even inviting me on his family vacation). I think I am still in the mindset of being cautious because it's distance and I'm afraid of it dying out and getting hurt after putting myself out there. So I want to know, because this is new, is it cool to send a text here and there telling him I miss him?

He tells me he misses me every time we talk but I am less direct about it. I just don't want to be clingy and I think as a woman, I am trying not to fit that stereotype. We talk about three times a week which is perfect because we are both super busy . . . things are progressing more and more. I just want to know how to keep his interest so he knows I do really care about him.

Have a dilemma of your own? Post it anonymously to Group Therapy for advice, and check out what else is happening in the TrèsSugar Community.

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LittleMzFit LittleMzFit 4 years
He's either interested or he's not. There's nothing you can or should do to manipulate the situation. Just be yourself & if it's meant to be it will work out. :)
katialoves katialoves 4 years
agree with helen about him pursuing you. dont fret over it, as long as you're not missing his calls, you don't really have to give him any other reassurance. of course after he's told you he misses you many times and you feel comfortable you could say that you miss him too. actually if its meant to be that really shouldn't scare him away.
secondstar secondstar 4 years
Agree with allthingsgrow. He say little things to you that show how he feels without outright saying it, so you could do the same. Your relationship is still new and LDRs are tricky, so that's a good way to show you care without getting too serious.
allthingsgrow allthingsgrow 4 years
LDRs CAN work - as long as there's an end-time or "better future" ahead. If you have active plans to be together in a few months or a date then that's what helps. Send him little texts throughout the day - that tells him you're thinking about him. Don't be excessive, but maybe an "I went to the park today, saw ______, and thought of you" says more than the outright "I miss you".
shreerose shreerose 4 years
Agree with Helen Danger.
Helen-Danger Helen-Danger 4 years
A surefire way to lose his interest is to send him a bunch of texts telling him you miss him. He's supposed to miss you, because he's supposed to pursue you. You're supposed to have a great time and enjoy all the attention. That's all you have to do. Respond happily. Period. LDRs don't work. You're right. If you two are meant to be, you'll have to wind up in the same town. But I wouldn't jump that far ahead yet. Flirt and have fun. And no, him telling you not to fall in love with anyone else or inviting you to meet his family does not mean he loves you. Him looking deep into your eyes--in PERSON--and saying "I love you," is the only way you'll know for sure he loves you.
GirlYciouS GirlYciouS 4 years
I dont belive in distance relationships .. feelings might change with time when one of you finds himself lonely or cant be beside the one he loves .. anyway if you want to continue and belive that it might work then you can text him alot ,leave him emails and make the phone calls more ..
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