We all have moments when we feel insecure and bad about ourselves. The thing that is hard is when you hit a low spot and you're consistently beating yourself up. We can be our harshest judges and cruelest critics, so how do you break the cycle and start feeling good about yourself? Here are some ideas:
- Instead of relying on others to give you compliments, give them to yourself. Focus on the positive aspects of your personality, your appearance, and your accomplishments. Quit worrying about what others think or say.
- Don't allow yourself to say destructive comments to yourself like "I'm so stupid," or "Nobody likes me," or "I'll never be as pretty as so-and-so." Make positive comments instead.
- Surround yourself with like-minded and supportive people. If you are working hard to better yourself in some way, say you're trying to lose weight, it's not going to help you to hang out with people who eat junk food and don't exercise.
What else can you do? To find out
- If there is something specific about how you look, what you do (school or job), or your relationships that you are unhappy about - change it! Although it may seem really difficult at first, if it is causing you to feel bad about yourself, it'll be worth it in the end.
- Try something new - take a painting class, fly on a trapeze, take a Spanish course, sign up for a 5K race - You'll feel proud of yourself and your confidence level is bound to improve how you you feel about yourself.
Nobody is born with an amazing self-esteem. Your family, your relationships, your environment, and your experiences all help to shape the opinions you have about yourself. A low self-esteem can be rooted in things you have no control of - maybe you were surrounded by people who never supported or encouraged you, or maybe you were in abusive relationships where you were insulted or ridiculed.
You obviously can't change the past, but you can learn from those experiences. In order to feel better about yourself, you need to know that those things were not your fault. Start telling yourself that you are a wonderful, brilliant, special person, and pretty soon you'll start believing it.