I've been with my boyfriend for 4 years. He treats me really well and makes me feel beautiful. However, I have sex issues. I'm hardly ever in the mood for sex anymore and I'm not very adventurous. I also get really embarrassed about doing anything sexually that makes me the center of attention. What can I do to get over this so I feel comfortable and enjoy sex more? Unkinky Kathy
Dear Unkinky Kathy
Firstly (and I know I must sound like a broken record) you need to talk about sex. Make a point to let him know you love him but have lost your libido and you want his help to get it back. Also, tell him what you like in bed. Are you having orgasms? You don't have to be ashamed if you're not. Did you know that over 46% of women experience little or no sexual satisfaction from clitoral stimulation? Only 25% even reach orgasm through intercourse. Sadly enough, lots of young ladies (18-35), don't even know what an orgasm is or how to have one! Here are some ideas: make a list of sexual preferences one day after work. Present your boyfriend a menu, but instead of making the menu about food, make it all about sex. Appetizers, entree and dessert - use your imagination! Also, experiment with him. Ask him what he likes and try to satisfy his fantasies (within reason). Be generous too - if you give, you shall receive. And something most busy people never think to do is making a sex date with each other. Stop hoping and praying for sexual spontaneity - just make it happen already.