Skip Nav

Sex Life Excel Spreadsheet

WTF? Husband Sends Wife Excel Spreadsheet of Her Sex Excuses

Wow, this guy won't be getting the husband of the year award. Reddit user throwwwwaway29 shared that her husband emailed her an Excel spreadsheet tracking their sex life for the last month — while she was in a cab on the way to the airport for a business trip, mind you — to point out how she's been turning down his sexual advances. He tracks her sex-cuses, which anyone who's been in a long-term relationship can relate to, like feeling too full, being "sweaty and gross," having to get up early, and watching a TV show/movie.

In theory, a sex life spreadsheet like this would be a interesting project for a couple to do together to examine why your intimate moments have dwindled and then begin working on spicing things up. But in this particular case, it's pretty awful. The husband in question passive-aggressively sent this to his wife without talking to her about it, and then proceeded to ignore her calls/texts. Plus, from the sound of her Reddit post, there's more to the story than just a wife saying "no" to sex (like busier work schedules, house renovations, etc.). The original post has since been deleted, but see the damning spreadsheet — and the hilarious copy-cat versions — below.

The Original

Source: Shutterstock, Reddit user throwwwwaway29

And see the even more ridiculous faux sex spreadsheets from Imgur below:

The Spoofs

Source: Imgur user EnderBoy

Source: Imgur user Caleb0415

Source: Imgur user Sorthum

Latest Love & Sex