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Sex Life While Living With Parents

Group Therapy: Sex Life After Moving Back in With Parents

This question is from Group Therapy in our TrèsSugar Community. Add your advice in the comments!

It feels like I'm in high school again . . . yet I'm 23 years old. I have always lived on my own since college, but just recently moved back in with my parents to save up money for graduate school. My parents respect my personal space but I just don't feel comfortable sneaking around behind their back. They probably still think I'm a virgin too, as we have never "talked" about it. My boyfriend still lives with his family and the idea of having sex in their house is unheard of. How do I find the privacy I need to have a healthy sex life? I don't think this will wreck our relationship but it might come close. The backseat of his car is only so romantic.

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Venus1 Venus1 6 years
Go for the hotel and al fresco suggestions here, Just a thought you might not like the idea of this, but parents often have an active sex life too and maybe their style is going to be equally cramped by your return.
dikke-kus dikke-kus 6 years
Well, you must be saving, so use some of the extra for a hotel room then, or weekends away. Camping, hotels, visiting friends for the weekends???? He should be pitching in as well. I guess its not free, but worth the cost. Besides in order to even keep the relationship going well. you should be expecting some weekends away together. It will be vital to your relationship anyway.
GlitzyGlam GlitzyGlam 6 years
Ohh.. I'm about to have to experience this. I will be moving at the end of this year back to my parents (too save money also) and my boyfriend and I have been living together for the past year, and I've been out of the nest for a few years.. It's going to be strange!
amandachalynn amandachalynn 6 years
Be adventurous! Go on a midnight picnic and get it on alfresco. There are a million things you can do, and it adds spice to the relationship!
juicebox07 juicebox07 6 years
You are 23. It's not like you're a young teen. Unless your parents are super religious (like my bf's family), then they should understand. I am almost 22 and still live at home (I pay rent and help with bills), and my mom knows I have sex. We usually wait until she's asleep to do it.
chequettex chequettex 6 years
My husband & I lived with my parents for a couple of months after we'd been married about a year, and then we had to switch to his parents for four more months (we had a 6-mo. gap in our housing and they were all willing to help us out). My parents' place was kind of small and it would have been awkward for me to have sex there, but at the time we were very stressed out and neither of us were in the mood much. We only did it when we had the place to ourselves, or when my parents were on the other side of the house watching TV. At his parents' place, we had much more space overall, but our bedroom was right next to his parents' bedroom. I was uncomfortable with the idea of my in-laws trying to sleep on the other side of the wall, but you just gotta do what ya gotta do, ya know? I would say just do it whenever you can get the most privacy. Don't make a big show about it and lock your door. And finally, two words: Afternoon Delight.
chequettex chequettex 6 years
My husband & I lived with my parents for a couple of months after we'd been married about a year, and then we had to switch to his parents for four more months (we had a 6-mo. gap in our housing and they were all willing to help us out). My parents' place was kind of small and it would have been awkward for me to have sex there, but at the time we were very stressed out and neither of us were in the mood much. We only did it when we had the place to ourselves, or when my parents were on the other side of the house watching TV. At his parents' place, we had much more space overall, but our bedroom was right next to his parents' bedroom. I was uncomfortable with the idea of my in-laws trying to sleep on the other side of the wall, but you just gotta do what ya gotta do, ya know?I would say just do it whenever you can get the most privacy. Don't make a big show about it and lock your door. And finally, two words: Afternoon Delight.
weffie weffie 6 years
In my experience, most parents are usually too embarrassed to bring it up even if they do hear you... I say just go for it :) The worst that can happen is they'll ask you to keep it down, no biggie.
MissSushi MissSushi 6 years
I feel your pain.... My husband and I moved in with my parents after moving from florida to oklahoma, until we found a house, and though we had the farthest bedroom from theirs, we found out after we moved that our bedroom door not only had no lock, but the only way to walk the four dogs, was through our bedroom. Then to top it off, we had trouble finding jobs and then housing, and my mother adopted a puppy. Puppies have to be walked about every hour or two sometimes.. yeah, imagine attempting a sex life with that.
Shadowcat14 Shadowcat14 6 years
Put on loudish music or the tv to cover the creaking noise of the bed. You can have quite sex but the bed noise is a dead giveaway.
lickety-split lickety-split 6 years
Well, you can offer to house sit for friends. Can you go onto the office on the weekend? Other than going away for the weekend I'm not sure what else you can do.
skigurl skigurl 6 years
I had the same "problem" when I graduated and moved home and since had 2 serious boyfriends, but basically my parents realized that I'm an adult, so they slept in my room and we just did it very very quietly! It's all about respect. So just find times to do it when no one is home or do it late at night and be quiet, or do it early in the evening when everyone else is watching tv in an entirely different wing of the house. We've never been caught, and while I'm sure they would figure out what was up if they thought hard about it, I doubt anyone is really thinking that hard about it.
Skeptic52 Skeptic52 6 years
I thought this would be a huge problem for me, too! My husband and I were newlyweds and had just bought a house. A few months later my grandfather (who raised me) was hospitalized and finally realized he couldn't live alone anymore. My only real fear (other than whether his cat would get along with my husband's dog) was the very thing you're worried about. I figured our sex life would dwindle because I'd always be scared he could hear us or something. It's really never been a problem. He knows I'm an adult, and he respects our privacy. I think that if you're an adult, your parents (or boyfriends') really won't have much to say, especially if they've never been comfortable with that topic before. My grandad has probably never even vocalized the word sex, so even bringing it up would be too much for him. Not to mention that if he did, what exactly would he be able to say I'm doing bad?
Skeptic52 Skeptic52 6 years
I thought this would be a huge problem for me, too! My husband and I were newlyweds and had just bought a house. A few months later my grandfather (who raised me) was hospitalized and finally realized he couldn't live alone anymore. My only real fear (other than whether his cat would get along with my husband's dog) was the very thing you're worried about. I figured our sex life would dwindle because I'd always be scared he could hear us or something. It's really never been a problem. He knows I'm an adult, and he respects our privacy. I think that if you're an adult, your parents (or boyfriends') really won't have much to say, especially if they've never been comfortable with that topic before. My grandad has probably never even vocalized the word sex, so even bringing it up would be too much for him. Not to mention that if he did, what exactly would he be able to say I'm doing bad?
trustgirl trustgirl 6 years
Rent a hotel room from time to time just to mix it up?
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