Skip Nav

Is She More Than a Friend?

Dear Sugar
I have been married and in love with my husband for five years, but lately I haven't been feeling the same way for him. I am finding myself not physically attracted to him like I used to be and our differences seem to be growing everyday. I figured all this was a natural lull in our marriage until I met a very special woman.

She is a member of my small community and I am not only finding myself attracted to her physically, but emotionally as well. She is a lesbian and although I know I am not, I can't stop thinking about her. She is smart, strong, a great mom, fun and an artist.

I haven't told her how I feel, I'm guessing she wouldn't return the feelings knowing that I'm married but this has left me so confused. I'm 30 years old and now all of a sudden I'm attracted to someone of the same sex; where does this leave my marriage? Can you please help? Torn Lover Leslie


To see DEARSUGAR's answer read more

Dear Torn Lover Leslie
Many women question their sexual preference from time to time so you are not alone if you are feeling confused. After five years of marriage, you are bound to have highs and lows, but if sounds like you are starting to pull back from your husband.

Has your relationship gone down hill since you met this woman or have you been struggling with your feelings for a while now? Although you say you are not a lesbian, it sounds as though you could be bisexual. Being adventurous, curious, and wanting to explore your sexuality is completely normal, but you owe it to your marriage to be truthful with your feelings.

Have you talked to your husband about this situation? If you were to tell your gal pal about your attraction, do you think you would act on it if her feelings were mutual? Have you confided in anyone about these feelings? Perhaps speaking with a therapist would be helpful. Take some time to process your thoughts and sort out your emotions. Good luck.

Latest Love & Sex