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Should I Call It Quits?

"Should I Call It Quits?"

This question is from a Group Therapy post in our TrèsSugar Community. Add your advice in the comments!

I have been dating my boyfriend for a year and seven months (today is actually our one-year-and-seven-month anniversary). I have had lots of ups and downs with the relationship. I feel he's the only one who really knows me, more than my mom or other relatives do. I've been thinking that maybe he isn't the right guy for me because of the fact that we argue over the smallest things a lot and I feel like he triggers the argument to be what it turns out to be. I've admitted my wrongdoings to him and have apologized to him, yet I don't see him apologizing as much as I do. Many times, I apologize just to get him to see that it's not a game about who's right or wrong. It's just about both of us working together to make this relationship better. I don't think he gets it.

Yesterday while at work, he called, and we talked about the plans we had after he got out of work. We agreed to rent a movie and order Chinese. He wanted me to drive because of the fact that I need more experience behind the wheel, which I agree to. Well, when we got into the car and I backed out off the parking spot, I found myself stuck between a car and a wall. I gave him a look, basically asking if what I was doing was correct, and he told me that I should move forward more. I looked at what was in front of me (a parked car) and felt that if I inched forward more, I could have accidentally hit the car. He told me to trust him, and when he realized that I wasn't listening to his direction, he immediately saw that I didn't trust him. I explained that I did trust him, but at a time like this, I had to go with my instincts because of how much worse the situation could have been. He didn't bother to take that into consideration and immediately was cold toward me. I knew this because, some moments later, the car was acting weird as I was driving it, and when I turned to him for questions, he said that, since I knew what I was doing, I should just drive. The tone just said it all. It wasn't with the best intention. It was anger, just making me feel bad. I don't believe I deserved that kind of treatment. It became an argument, and since I almost ran a red light, he directed me to stop the car or, if I didn't, he was going to exit the car at the next stop. Again, he was just so cold, and I realized and felt that he didn't love me.

For him to get me this upset or to even try to hurt me because of the fact that I didn't listen to a driving direction seemed so ridiculous. I don't know what to do. This is just an example of what I go through a lot with him (arguing for stupid reasons, that is). I really hope I get the advice I'm seeking. Should I call it quits? I don't feel happy with him, but I love him. It's such a weird feeling, but it's the best I can describe it. 

Oh and another thing . . . just to make a long story short, he dumped me because I had asked him about the status of our relationship and it was annoying to him. I know for a fact he was saying it out of anger, but even so, I don't think something like that should be said. Another note on why I feel I shouldn't continue this relationship. Advice please!

Have a dilemma of your own? Post it anonymously in Group Therapy for advice and check out what else is happening in the TrèsSugar Community.

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Mslooking4advice Mslooking4advice 4 years
Yes it is an example and I appreciate your comment/opinion very much. I will really start keeping a more focused attention on him with his anger and will give your advice more thought on the matter.
Donna-Freundt Donna-Freundt 4 years
If this is just one example of many things he gets angry at you for then i think you are very rightly so upset by it. After you got home did he continue to be mad at you?. I think if he knows when to drop it, then it is ok but if he stays in a bad mood because of that all night then it is not good for you to be in a relationship with a man like that. In any healthy relationship, you should be able to sit down and talk to your partner about problems you have with each other. It should feel like a normal thing to do, to sit down and come to a resolution. However, to me it sounds like you might not even be able to do with that with him, he broke up with you because you questioned him about the status of your relationship? I think it sounds like he has anger problems and it is hard to talk to him even. If you continue the relationship, and he continues having this temper, you may eventually be too scared to speak up on how you feel. My personal opinion is that you deserve to be happy as well and you aren't happy, then I think you should leave him, give yourself some time to heal and get over the relationship, and find someone who has a better temper. My ex was a bit like that but my boyfriend now is definitely not. There is someone better out there. Best wishes to you.
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