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Should I End My Long-Distance Relationship?

Group Therapy: Long-Distance Relationship Is Stuck in a Rut

This question is from a Group Therapy post in our TrèsSugar Community. Add your advice in the comments!

I have been with my boyfriend over 6 years in a long-distance relationship; we talk about marriage, kids and finally getting together in the same state.

Lately our relationship has been strained because I am so tired of waiting for all of this to happen. Year after year, promises of change and marriage never happen. How long should I wait?

I really worried however that after all this time together, he has yet to introduce me to his family. His relationship is not strained by any means with his family, he lived with them for 5 out of the 6 years that we have been together. He has met my mother, spent holidays with my family and been included in every aspect of my life.

I am getting to a point that I feel like I have no choice but to move on. I feel like all he does is make promises and yet does nothing to change the path we are headed in. I am so lost and confused on what I should do now. I feel like I am being unfair leaving him.

Have a dilemma of your own? Post it anonymously to Group Therapy for advice, and check out what else is happening in the TrèsSugar Community.

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Quriosity Quriosity 5 years
The two things that must be discussed and met in a long distance relationship is: 1. The frequency of seeing each other in person 2. When will the distance end. When I was in a long distance relationship with my boyfriend, we agreed that 2-3 years is the maximum time to be apart, after that we have to be together physically, because let's face it, long distance isn't really a relationship. To know someone in that level, you should see them at least 4 days a week if not more. You don't know if the relationship works unless you're physically together for a while, because it's different when having a relationship couple hours on the phone, Skype, seeing each other a week at a time when you know you have to be at your best, etc. You shouldn't let the relationship dragged on without knowing when you two will be together physically. And yes, all the other posters have mentioned all the red flags, and they are legitimate things to really analyze and think about. Good luck!
ChrissyLee ChrissyLee 5 years
6 years and you haven't met his family?! And you've been in the same town as them? That's weird, he's hiding something. Sounds like it's time to move on, it seems like you already want to. Stay strong and know that you deserve way better than this. He hasn't stepped up yet, why would he start now?
bluebellknoll bluebellknoll 5 years
Something seems very wrong with this situation. Stick to your instincts and move on. Not meeting his family for 6 years is a huge red flag especially if you've gone to visit him in his home town. They probably don't know about you otherwise I'd assume they'd want to meet the girl their son has been dating for so long! Good luck and stay strong!
jenjen82 jenjen82 5 years
Damn I'm sorry you have spent 6 years in a long distance relationship with the wrong guy! You say you want to leave him, stick to your guns. You deserve better and to be happy! The breakup shouldn't be as bad since you don't even live in the same area.
postmodernsleaze postmodernsleaze 5 years
I think you should trust your instincts to move on. It's very odd that he has not introduced you to his family after six years.
DaddysGirlMB DaddysGirlMB 5 years
girl i think ur actually hurting urself 6 years its a waste of time he could marry u and even have kids in that time most of all not knowing his family background it not just all about him
JoeTyndall JoeTyndall 5 years
jcable, Let us know what happens. We are all pulling for you. And when something is a dealbreaker, it's a dealbreaker. Stick to your guns.
jcable1 jcable1 5 years
I have visited him before but we always stay in a hotel and he never asks me to meet his family when I am in town. I have begged and pleaded with him, I've come close a few times trying to end it because this is a deal breaker for me. I continue to stay because I love him but lately I feel like it's time to move on. This is not a new conversation for him, we have talked about this for a long time and nothing changes. I really believe that it is time time to move on.
njau njau 5 years
My first red flag in this post is that it has been 6 years and no introduction of you to his family. That speaks wonders! I was in a previously relationship that it took 2 1/2 years to meet his family and it was like pulling teeth. Once it did finally happen, the relationship started to slowly unravel (and ended for other reasons). A man, and woman for that matter, if he is really interested in the long term or even short term, should be happy to show you off and have you meet people and especially people that are important to him. I don't know how you made it 5 years of him living at home and never meeting his parents. I'm assuming that you have met up quite a bit in person, was it always him traelling to you? I think it is time to move on.
mnp mnp 5 years
You shouldn't feel any guilt if you decide to leave him because you're right, 6 years is a long wait. Also, he hasn't introduced you to his family and that just seems "off". I would be straight forward with him and tell him your concerns and be ready to move on.
JoeTyndall JoeTyndall 5 years
It's time to ask him when you will meet his family. You should also flat-out ask him if there is a problem with this.
somekindofmagic somekindofmagic 5 years
Wow, this is like reading my own life but it's only been a year and a half for me. I read this with dread. The empty promises won't change, please don't waste a decade as much as it hurts. Time for him to put up or shut up and unfortunately he will probably walk away. I'm sorry.
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