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Should I Go to the Same New Year's Party as My Ex?

Group Therapy: Should I Go to the Same New Year's Party as My Ex?

This question is from a Group Therapy post in our TrèsSugar Community. Add your advice in the comments!

Okay so he's not my ex, but it was just easier to say that he was to condense the title. What he really did was mess around with me for two months (no sex, thank God), stop talking to me, then date my roommate's friend out of nowhere. It sounds pretty cut and dry but it was a pretty tumultuous time and it really hurt because I liked him and I thought he liked me.

One of the options for my New Year's Eve is to go to a hotel party, be chill, no strings attached, whatever. The other option is the go to HIS ex-girlfriend's house and party there. And I KNOW all my friends will prefer that since it's easier and since it's comfortable. She's his ex. HE will probably come with whomever he dumped me for. It's like a trifecta of awkwardness and residual feelings and it's going to RUIN my night if he's there.

And I'll be damned if I just stay at home. What should I do? Part of me wants to get really dressed up and pretty and show up all three of them, and make him jealous. But the other part of me is still kind of hurt about what he did and does not want to be where he is, ever. Why would I want to ring in the New Year feeling all weird and awkward and upset? I still even have physical reactions when I hear his name. It makes me really sick to my stomach.

So should I protect my heart and try really hard to find somewhere else to go (or don't go anywhere)? Or should I suck it up and just deal with it and go to his ex's house party (all of my good friends are friends with his ex, so it makes sense for me to also come)?

Have a dilemma of your own? Post it anonymously to Group Therapy for advice, and check out what else is happening in the TrèsSugar Community.

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Join The Conversation
TheBestRedDress TheBestRedDress 5 years
I sure hope you went to the hotel. The latter option is just searching for drama, leave drama for the boring and be fabulous!
LittleMzFit LittleMzFit 5 years
I know I'm late, but I hope you sucked it up & went to the party anyway. I hope you put him out of your mind & enjoyed it! Happy New Year!!!
Jeri247 Jeri247 5 years
I say go some place where neither of them will be and bring in 2011 drama free
lickety-split lickety-split 5 years
hotel par-tay! :cocktail: don't ring in the new year with anxiety. go where you aren't expecting drama. the hotel will be decorated, you'll meet some new people, sounds like your friends are game to go along.
Pistil Pistil 5 years
New Years Eve is so hyped. Would you bother going if the party was any other night? Though I think it's possible to have a good time either way, I'd choose the hotel party. It sounds more fun, and personally I feel uncomfortable at house parties hosted by someone I don't really know or don't really like, than at a public event.
tigr3bianca tigr3bianca 5 years
I agree with @allergic, go to the hotel party and meet some new people. To the other commenter who said that you shouldn't be so heartbroken over a no-sex relationship, that is ridiculous. People can form deep bonds even without sex. Trying to make him jealous is just petty and will show that you aren't over him. Sometimes out of sight is really out of mind, so go to a different party and leave that jerk behind.
medenginer medenginer 5 years
Two months and no sex over him isn't worth freaking out over. Dress up and bring a hot man with you to it will make him wonder.
missmaryb missmaryb 5 years
I agree, go to the party and have fun! If you let him ruin your night, he wins again. He was a jerk, not worth your time or your emotions. Hopefully you'll find it wasn't as bad as you'd feared it would be.
Hiding55 Hiding55 5 years
By all means go to the party and hang out with your friends. Don't go with the intention of looking so pretty that you show them all up. Dress up for yourself and so you feel confident, not for anyone else. My ex is a freak about seeing me at parties and won't show up if I'm going to be somewhere. I think it makes him look silly since we broke up 5 years ago and both are dating new people. He doesn't have to hang out with me. Just a simple polite hi-how-are-you and move on would do. Go to the party, act natural even if it hurts, hold your chin up, and ignore him and have fun! This might be your chance to get over this jerk for good! Good luck.
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