My husband's friend is a master manipulator of women and 2 friends of mine have been involved with him. The first ended in a messy divorce, and the other moved in with him and he kicked her out 3 weeks later.
I've recently heard that he took a new job and started doing the owner's wife. Sadly, the owner and his wife divorced and he has already left her and has now moved on to ... my sister!
Help! He treats her terribly. She has lost all of her friends because no one can stand him and my husband and I no longer speak to him because of the way he treats her. I've tried to initiate better terms with him once, but he stormed out of the discussion. He is impossible.
Do I let the whole issue go and never speak to my sister again as long as she is with him, or do I let her just continue down this destructive path? Save My Sibling
Dear Save My Sibling
As much as you love your sister and she loves you, she's not necessarily going to want to listen to you and leave the man she loves. Once she leaves - then what? Will you be taking care of her?
I've been down this road. Sister goes against better judgment of everyone to be with dominating loser who ultimately hurts her. This is one messy haul.
All you can do is love her as much as you always have. We've all dated a jerk at some point and when it falls apart, we need our friends and family most. Don't punish her because she fell in love with Satan.
But you must set boundaries for yourself. You don't have to be around him and you don't have to endure conversations about him with your sister. Tell her that you love her no matter what, but that you aren't willing to enable her poor choices.
Ask her if she would keep you separated. See if she can live with those rules if she wants you in her life.
Then learn to distance yourself from her drama. Once the downfall hits, warn her once - and then let her make her own mistakes. Don't give up on your relationship with your sister because of this guy. You know it won't last, and in the end she's going to need you.