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Should I Keep My Opinion About My Friend to Myself?

"Should I Keep My Opinion to Myself?

This question is from a Group Therapy post in our TrèsSugar Community. Add your advice in the comments!

My best friend has a habit of moving really fast in her relationships. She falls hard and quick and is devastated when the relationship ends. Each time she says she wants to take things slow and it never happens. This has happened three times in the last two and a half years. She just started seeing another guy and just last week she told me she wants to take it slow because she is still getting over her last relationship. She also said if I notice her moving too quickly to let her know. Well, today she told me they are exclusive and have been spending pretty much all their free time together. Should I tell her that I think they are moving to quickly or should I keep my mouth shut? She seems so happy and I don't want to burst her bubble but I can really see this relationship going down the same path as the last three.

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ChrissyLee ChrissyLee 4 years
Normally I would say no, but she did ask you to tell her.  Mention it offhand that you think they might be moving a bit fast and see how she reacts.  You don't want to get in an argument with her so if she gets defensive just realize she just needs to do her thing.  All you can do is be there to support her.  
matoad matoad 4 years
I think there are nice ways of reminding her without getting her down - along the lines of 'If you guys are really lovely together (which I'm sure you are) and the relationship is a great fit (which I'm sure it is), then taking it slow just means enjoying each step more - everything will be there waiting for you when you get there.' :)
missmaryb missmaryb 4 years
Absolutely agree. She asked for it and she needs and appreciates your honesty. Just say put it gently and be supportive. Good luck.
henna-red henna-red 4 years
She asked you to speak to her if.....well, you're at if, so yes. Give her what she's asked for, hold that mirror up for her. And remember this isn't about your opinion so much as her request for a "check me." Just remind her of her request, and give her back the details of her behavior that you see fitting into the her pattern, and then let it go. She needs to see for herself, realize for herself, and make different choices for herself to change this pattern. She's asked for your help in a very specific way, so stay withing the bounds of her request. good luck, be gently, be clear, be non judgemental
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