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Should I Tell?


Dear Sugar--

I went to my office last Sunday to get some work done before the week began and when I arrived, the door was locked. I didn't bother knocking because I simply assumed no one was there since it was the weekend and all. As I unlocked the door, I saw one of my coworkers with his pants down and my supervisor sitting on her desk. I gasped, but didn't say anything and walked out the door with my jaw dragging on the ground.

Now what makes this situation difficult is that she is my manager and I don't know what I should do. Should I report it to her manager or should I just drop it and act like they never happened? I'm afraid this is going to make for an extremely awkward working relationship and I can't get that awfull image out of my head. Please help me!! --Caught them in the Act Aimee

To see DEARSUGAR's answer

Dear Caught them in the Act Aimee--

Wow, your manager sure did put you in an awkward situation didn't she! Messing around in the office certainly wasn't the smartest decision on her part, and although you feel quite uncomfortable, I can guarantee that she feels worse than you do right now.

Telling her manager is just going to stir the pot even more so I would suggest keeping this incident to yourselves. While it might be hard to get the image out of your head, try to let it go. If you foresee their sexcapade getting between your work and your relationship with your supervisor, have a chat with her, but I suggest going over her head to be a last resort.

It wouldn't surprise me if you have lost some respect for this woman, but I am sure she is beside herself with embarrassment, which is the worst punishment of all. Good luck!

Source

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<3-Gossip <3-Gossip 8 years
Dear = Knows best.
BKNYGal BKNYGal 8 years
Yeah, I was soooo thinking you could get a NICE pay raise out of this. =)
cgmaetc cgmaetc 8 years
I agree with kiddylind that it was HIGHLY inappropriate and wrong for them to be engage in such behavior in the workplace. HOWEVER, the poster should not take it upon herself to tattletale and become the moral authority over her boss. Now, if she were the boss then the employee got caught, then yes, she should take action. But in this case, the poster is the subordinate, and she's going to tell on her boss? I guess, in my mind, I have better thing to do with my energy than police other people's behavior.
Jinx Jinx 8 years
I can't disagree that it was improper, inappropriate, and very awkward for the person who walked in. But the question was, should she tell, not if what they were doing was right or wrong. And I stick to my original post that she should not report it to a supervisor, good grief. She's in a workplace, exactly, she should not tattle like she's in kindergarten.
kiddylnd kiddylnd 8 years
Except that this was in THE WORKPLACE...why does nobody see that as wrong? This could also lead to a sexual harassment issue in time. When they are no longer having this sexual relationship it could get VERY ugly. I don't give a rat's patootie what they do at home, or at a hotel - but it should NOT HAPPEN AT WORK. Why doesn't anyone see that as wrong? Why are people saying that if it was you you'd be embarrassed - it shouldn't be you either. Nobody should have to see that at work (again, unless it's your profession). This isn't about walking in on some friends somewhere - this is WORK. Accepting this and not saying anything can and will hurt more people down the line. Not only could this become a sexual harassment issue with them later, but it is considered sexual harassment to YOU NOW because you had to be exposed to it. It's not about being petty, or tattling...it's about what is and isn't acceptable at work. I guess I am alone in my thinking though - seems like all of you find this acceptable behavior.
vmruby vmruby 8 years
No.....Forget what you saw and move on. In all reality they are consenting adults, they can do who or what they want, and it's really no one else's business.
Jeannie_CK Jeannie_CK 8 years
I don't think it's that much big a deal. We're only human beings. Imagine it was you in her shoes. Did she see you at all or perhaps suspect that she might've seen you in the office? But still, one does feel somewhat embarrassed. I know I would. But I'm sure it will blow over soon enough and turn into a big laugh afterwards. ;-)
andaman andaman 8 years
I think this whole thing of you losing respect for her is a bit...I don't know what the exact word is but it seems very much invested in how you feel only. This is a delicate situation and you should be thinking about how she would feel too.
andaman andaman 8 years
You shouldn't tell him either (or anyone else). You should keep your mouth shut very tightly. Would you like it if it has happened to you and your coworker starts telling people?
andaman andaman 8 years
I don't know if others are serious but you shouldn't blackmail her at all. I would just try to put it out of my mind. I think you are making a big deal out of nothing in fact. She gave her boyfriend (or lover) oral sex and you saw it by accident. No big deal really. Of course you shouldn't tell her because it is a very nasty thing to do. So you keep it to yourself and just get on with it.
rkdub rkdub 8 years
I can't believe no one has brought this point up - BUY SOME CLOROX WIPES! Make sure to give your desk and any other working surfaces (copy machine, tables, etc) a good going over every morning JUST IN CASE. But seriously, I think that should be the extent of your actions.... going to her boss is just a little immature and petty. Just let it go and move on....hopefully she knows you saw her and she will stop.
Midnightkiss4u09 Midnightkiss4u09 8 years
DearSugar is dead on this one :) I agree 100%.
kiddylnd kiddylnd 8 years
Why am I the only one who agrees with jaxon? This should NEVER happen in a place of work (um, unless of course this is your line of work) regardless of if being a weekend or not. It doesn't matter if they saw you or not. This just is not right. I WOULD go above your boss and have this situation addressed. This may not be the first time it's happened, and you may not be the first one to have seen this. Be brave and blow the whistle (in the proper way of course, not like you boss was). You simply can't let this go on. If they want to pursue a relationship OUTSIDE of work, then I suggest they check with the workplace policy regarding such behavior. Many companies do not condone co-workers (and boss/subordinates) dating each other.
hills hills 8 years
lol i like the black mailing and raise comment, but dont actually do it!
junebrug junebrug 8 years
LOL, I was thinking the same thing, you may have a raise in your future! But really the others are right, just let it go, they're probably beside themselves with worry right now that you may actually go to her manager. And don't talk about it! She may talk to you about it though, in which case just play it cool.
hills hills 8 years
its not really a big deal is it? if ur reali embarrsed have it out with her, its her bussiness no one eleses reali, but lol
tati33 tati33 8 years
hahaha blackmail sounds good..maybe if utterly necessary..otherwise..keeping things on a hush hush...if you really need to get it off your chest, tell a friend that doesnt work in the office :P
jaxon jaxon 8 years
I think you do need to let someone know of what you saw. Not in an office gossip sort of way. Since this is one of your coworkers is she his supervisor too? There might come a time when he is receiveing special favors or unwarranted promotions and if you bring it up then it will sound like sour grapes.
summer-roberts summer-roberts 8 years
I agree with the rest. Telling anyone will not get you anywhere.
Trixie6 Trixie6 8 years
fab4 - Great minds think alike. :WOOHOO:
fab4 fab4 8 years
LOL trixie...I was thinking that but didn't write it. hahhahaha
Trixie6 Trixie6 8 years
WHAAAAT!?! What is wrong with you people? Aimee needs to use this information for BLACKMAIL! (Sarcasm, sarcasm. :-P)
Trixie6 Trixie6 8 years
WHAAAAT!?! What is wrong with you people? Aimee needs to use this information for BLACKMAIL! (Sarcasm, sarcasm. :-P)
Jinx Jinx 8 years
Although an awkward moment, I agree with Dear, don't tell anyone. It's none of their business. You could gain alot of respect points from your manager for keeping quiet.
Jinx Jinx 8 years
Although an awkward moment, I agree with Dear, don't tell anyone. It's none of their business. You could gain alot of respect points from your manager for keeping quiet.
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