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Should I Tell Him I Lied?

Group Therapy: Should I Tell Him I Lied?

This question is from a Group Therapy post in our TrèsSugar Community. Add your advice in the comments!

I have made a massive mess of my love life and hurt two people in the process. Please don't judge, because I already know what I did was wrong. I am looking for advice on what to do next.

I was involved in a long distance relationship for 4 years. The man was attentive, gave gifts and offered frequent vacations, but he was also controlling and could get angered extremely easily. This year I decided to break it off. I tried, repeatedly, but we would end up having extremely long, tiring conversations and I would just give up. I felt my wish to break up was being ignored and I started seeing another man at the same time (also long distance) with every intention of breaking up with my boyfriend, but never doing it. Neither of them knew about the other. The other LD man thought I had broken up with my boyfriend. Long story short, I stayed with my boyfriend until very recently. He had become more controlling the more distant I became, and hacked in one of my accounts. When I broke up with him, he hacked into more accounts, sent me unwanted emails, phone calls and texts. He also sent three emails to the other man asking him about what kind of a relationship we have and threatening him.

Should I tell the man I'm currently seeing about what I did? I think that would only hurt him, but I am afraid my ex will tell him first, and that would be much worse to hear it from him. Should I break up with him although I want to be with him? Again, I KNOW I should have broken up with my ex entirely before moving on. I didn't and that was wrong.

How should I proceed?

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