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Signs of Dating a Narcissist

Group Therapy: Was I Dating a Narcissist?

This question is from a Group Therapy post in our TrèsSugar Community. Add your advice in the comments!

I just stopped talking to my boyfriend about a week ago.  When we first met, he was cocky but very charming, and the charm won me over. There were cinematic kisses, romantic dinners, and hour long conversations almost every night. The red flags, though, came early on. 

During our second conversation, he said I was needy and fragile (I told him I am no such thing!) Another time he said I was pliant. Once when he was being rude, he said I can probably say or do anything, and you'll forgive me. He said I bet you haven't dated anyone like me before. He said that women are interchangeable. He said that he can have sex without emotion. He brought up ex-girlfriends to me; one in particular, he said, "didn't know how to play the 'game.'" I asked what "the game" was, and he said, "oh, you know, and you're playing it."

He prided himself on knowing more about any given subject than anyone else, and will research to know more details and then act like an expert. He put down friends and friends' wives, calling the women needy because they relied on their husbands for emotional support. He said a friend of his was a nice guy, and "nice guys don't get the girl. I'm not a nice guy." 

He kept a tally of how many times he called me vs. how many times I called him. He also drank at least 1-2 glasses of liquor every night. He hinted that there were other women, despite the fact that we were supposed to be exclusive. When I would respond to him, sometimes he would say "you're SUPPOSED to say . . ." and proceed to tell me what he wanted me to say.

It just got to be too much, and I stopped contact with him about a week ago. Do you think I've been dealing with a narcissist? It's hard for me to reconcile the man I met in the beginning, and the man who he revealed himself to be. I still wish we could work it out, but I'm afraid this is who he really is.

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