We're happy to present this excerpt from one of our favorite sites, YourTango.A guy who's not relationship material always lets you know; you just have to know what to look for.
When I look back at all the relationships that didn’t work out (that I so wanted to at the time), I realize that in every case, there were early warning signs that each guy gave me that could have given me some idea of the heartbreak I was about to experience if I had only been aware of what to look for. To spare you from what happened to me, to give you the inside scoop on what you can be on the lookout for, here’s my list of the warning signs that clearly let you know that this is a guy to avoid if it's a real relationship you're looking for.
- He doesn’t call you when he says he’s going to.
Granted, I know that sometimes life can get it the way, and if he’s working late on that big project with the looming deadline it’s possible that time might get away from him once in a while. But if this happens more than once or twice, it’s a sure sign that you’re just not a priority for him right now. If a guy is really interested in starting (or continuing) a real relationship with you, you will be on his mind, and he won’t forget to call.
- He’s often late and doesn’t call to let you know.
I know there are lots of reasons people can run late that are beyond their control (traffic jam, car problems, being stuck at the office), but a quick call from his cell phone will put your mind at ease, and let you know that you have a few more minutes to try on that one other outfit you were still considering. The point here is about being respectful of your time – we can forgive lateness, even chronic lateness (some people just aren’t good at judging how much time something will take), but not calling to let you know he’ll be a little late? That’s inexcusable and a sure sign that he’s not too concerned about you.
- He doesn’t show up at all (and doesn’t call) when you have plans to see him.
OK ladies, unless he was (verifiably) unconscious in a hospital somewhere, getting stood up is a “one strike and you’re out” offense. There is absolutely no good reason for this (except the one above), and if you stay with him after a maneuver like that, you’ll be in for a very bumpy emotional ride that’s almost guaranteed to end badly. Cell phone reception is excellent these days (unless he’s a lumberjack working in the great North Woods), so this one is unforgivable.
- He has rules about how often he can see you.
It’s one thing to have the boys’ “Wednesday Poker Night”, or something along those lines, but if he’s only willing to get together say, every other weekend (with the exception being a child custody situation), then that’s a sure sign he’s keeping his options open and still scouring the market for something better (at least in his mind – he just doesn’t realize that you’re the best thing going!).
Written by Jane Garapick for YourTango.
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