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Are Single Women Too Picky?

Pickiness and the Single Woman

Another day, another survey finds single women are pickier than married women. Inevitably, the next breath blames a woman's single situation on her sky-high standards — an argument Lori Gottlieb turned into all-out brawl after writing Marry Him. But maybe it's married women we should be looking at?

Has anyone ever studied the same women before, during, and after marriage to see how standards change? People aren't supposed to date during marriage and nobody likes to predict its afterlife, so that's a hard study to fund. Marriage forces both genders to accept the other as the moody, sloppy, and smelly creatures they are. Eventually the expectations lower.

True it may take some acceptance to make it to the altar, but the rate of divorce shows that those who wed aren't necessarily more accepting. Take, for example, one-night stands after a breakup or divorce. Most women will fess up to lowering standards, partially because it's only one night, but also because they've spent lots of time sleeping with partners in less-than-desirable states.

And then there's age. People seem to become less vain as they get older, so maybe Lori Gottlieb's revelation that women need to love the one they're with was more of an age-appropriate reflection after turning 40 than a learned-the-hard-way lesson?

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Blackwood Blackwood 5 years
this is ridiculous.why can't science stop treating single women as a disease that has to be cured for good? wouldn't it be much more useful if professionals put all of those resources into erradicating some deadly disease?
Blackwood Blackwood 5 years
this is ridiculous. why can't science stop treating single women as a disease that has to be cured for good? wouldn't it be much more useful if professionals put all of those resources into erradicating some deadly disease?
Gawjuslayd Gawjuslayd 5 years
I happen to think this article was rather accurate, though I can't say that I fall into any category. Many girls are entirely toooo toooo tooo picky. My boyfriend would tell me horror stories about the superficial, shallow ditzes he met on the same website we met on. Most girls had an income criteria, profession criteria, and education criteria all accompannied by their own selfish, unrealistic timelines some including the date of their 50th wedding anniversary! I was never picky with who I dated. I felt that love can happen when you least expect it by the least expected person! Being a little leniant in your "criteria" or your "pickiness" will allow you to explore different cultures, events, personalities, and life events. Go with the guy whose a 4 instead of an 8, then get back to me!!
Gawjuslayd Gawjuslayd 5 years
I happen to think this article was rather accurate, though I can't say that I fall into any category. Many girls are entirely toooo toooo tooo picky. My boyfriend would tell me horror stories about the superficial, shallow ditzes he met on the same website we met on.Most girls had an income criteria, profession criteria, and education criteria all accompannied by their own selfish, unrealistic timelines some including the date of their 50th wedding anniversary!I was never picky with who I dated. I felt that love can happen when you least expect it by the least expected person! Being a little leniant in your "criteria" or your "pickiness" will allow you to explore different cultures, events, personalities, and life events. Go with the guy whose a 4 instead of an 8, then get back to me!!
cdelaney cdelaney 5 years
I completely agree with your sentiment, xgreenfairyx. I couldn't have stated it any better.
GlowingMoon GlowingMoon 5 years
Personally, I think I may be an exception to this study. I'm married, and I think I'm damn picky. Thankfully, my husband loves me more deeply with passing time (as I do him), and he follows-through on it (as do I). He treats me like a princess, and I treat him like My Prince. The notion of married women having lower standards is lost on me.
chloe-bella chloe-bella 5 years
I really don't think "pickiness" is something that can be scientifically measured. I'm not married, but I'm in a 4 1/2 year relationship, and I definitely have more of a realistic view of relationships than some of my friends who are single and/or who have only been in short term relationships. On the other hand, I'm "pickier" than them in certain aspects as well. It's just too subjective to measure.
xgreenfairyx xgreenfairyx 5 years
"Has anyone ever studied the same women before, during, and after marriage to see how standards change?"...Am I 'suddenly' not myself now that I'm married? Wtf...why do people continue to perpetuate this sort of mysticism around marriage?! It's craziness. I'm a human, NOT a 'married woman', and if my standards for ANYTHING changes....might it be because I'm a dynamic living thing, and not because my brain has been permanently warped by my relationship status? Seriously... I mean, I'm pretty misanthropic, but damn do I wish people would stop buying into the whole 'married life/single life does weird things to you' stereotype. You know what does weird things to people? Studies that say you should feel weird.
xgreenfairyx xgreenfairyx 5 years
"Has anyone ever studied the same women before, during, and after marriage to see how standards change?" ...Am I 'suddenly' not myself now that I'm married? Wtf...why do people continue to perpetuate this sort of mysticism around marriage?! It's craziness. I'm a human, NOT a 'married woman', and if my standards for ANYTHING changes....might it be because I'm a dynamic living thing, and not because my brain has been permanently warped by my relationship status? Seriously... I mean, I'm pretty misanthropic, but damn do I wish people would stop buying into the whole 'married life/single life does weird things to you' stereotype. You know what does weird things to people? Studies that say you should feel weird.
ShaynaLeah ShaynaLeah 5 years
What was the point of this post - that married women are picky about who they have affairs with? That single women should lower their standards when they get older? This was too disjointed to be useful!
ShaynaLeah ShaynaLeah 5 years
What was the point of this post - that married women are picky about who they have affairs with? That single women should lower their standards when they get older? This was too disjointed to be useful!
skigurl skigurl 5 years
I don't really know what to say to this. Sure, some single women are picky as hell - we all know the girl who picks apart every single thing about a man, when all her friends think he's great and should be given a chance. I've never been that picky but I have standards which have only gotten higher with time (as I went through crap boyfriends) and I didn't lower my standard for my boyfriend WHATSOEVER. He meets all my criteria and more. So I guess this is a vast overgeneralization.
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