When it comes to the complicated world of dating, don't you sometimes wish you had a manual to help answer the hard questions, or tell you what to do when the going gets tough? If so, you might really benefit from these six relationship questions that our friends at Oprah.com have answered for us. Check out the questions below:
I'm married and exhausted. Sex or sleep? According to Paul Glovinsky, PhD, the answer is both. Since sex can leave women stimulated and unable to fall asleep right away, but men as sleepy as a baby, Glovinsky advises couples to carve out time to get busy during their energy peak, whether it's in the morning, right after work, after dinner, or whatever time works for them.
My clock is ticking. Settle for the guy I care about, or hold out for The One, who may never show up? I've said many times before and psychotherapist Ken Page agrees: do not settle, especially when kids are involved; you both could end up paying the price later down the line. Page feels that,"If someone is your match in 75 to 85 percent of the things that are important to you — values, character strengths, how he treats other people, emotional fitness — that's not settling," but I always suggest following your instincts. And remember, no one is perfect!
I've met a great guy. He never calls. Should I call him? The author of The MANual Steve Santagati and I agree on this one, too. He says yes you can call him, but let him initiate the plans. If you put him on the spot, he might get too intimidated.
Want to see the answers to three other questions? If so, just
He's married, but he says he's not happy and it's ending. I should stay away, right? I feel like I shouldn't have to answer this one, but yes, stay away! Not only could you be waiting around for the rest of your life for him to leave his wife, but if he does, you'll be subject to all his baggage that you definitely don't need and shouldn't want.
When, if ever, is it a good idea to try again with a guy whose heart you've already broken? According to Manhattan-based matchmaker Janis Spindel, it's incredibly difficult to go backwards — if it didn't work the first time, why would it work the second time? If things in your life have changed, her suggestion is to analyze the situation and determine whether the relationship could work in your current life before giving it another go.
I love my partner, but the sex is underwhelming. Stay the course or go? You stay, but fix the problem by communicating with your partner. If your needs aren't being met yet and you're not speaking up, how is he supposed to know there's a problem? Tell him what turns you on and ask him to do the same. Once you know what it is that makes each other tick, you're underwhelming sex life could be cured, just like that!