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Slept With a Guy With a Girlfriend

Group Therapy: I Have a Crush on a Guy Who's Taken

This question is from a Group Therapy post in our TrèsSugar Community. Add your advice in the comments!

OK, I don't even know why this affects me so much. It's a purely physical interest that I have in him. we've been friends for over a year, and yeah, we get along great. He has a girlfriend, and they've never had the best relationship, so it's always been an on and off thing between them.

Anyway, the thing is that for a long time they were mostly off. He always hit on me, and while I thought he was cute, I never went for it (especially because I was taken, too). I've been single for a couple of months now. And during this period there was one night in which we both just were having the greatest time, dancing, laughing . . . and he told me he liked me. I kinda shrugged it off, because I knew he was just being sweet to get into my pants. Also, I'm not used to guys being sweet when they hit on me, so while I didn't magically fall in love with him, that whole "sweetness" shocked me, in a good, ego-boosting way. So we started making out and eventually we had sex.

I didn't think that much about it, and while it was great I regretted it because I felt it was too soon for me (considering I'd only ever been with my ex, and we hadn't been broken up for too long). And now I'm crushing on my friend!!! And we'd been flirting a lot lately, he was still being sweet (which I have to admit, was an awesome ego booster!), but we hadn't had the chance for anything to happen again when . . . BAM! He gets back together with his girlfriend, and now they're working things out.

Of course, now I've stepped back, but I'm dealing with this longing feeling, and it sucks. And I don't feel any particular interest in any guy now. I've also been having problems dealing with my breakup, since now I'm starting to miss my ex, especially the physical side of things (which is why I think I also have this longing for the other guy). I miss sex, and solo loving ain't cutting it. OK so these are like three problems together, but right now this whole crush thing is becoming annoying for me, I feel like such a 15 year old.

Have a dilemma of your own? Post it anonymously to Group Therapy for advice, and check out what else is happening in the TrèsSugar Community.

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onlysourcherry onlysourcherry 4 years
I don't meant to sound harsh, but it sounds like he had you and still decided he wanted to get back together with his girlfriend. I think you're lonely and making more of this than you know you should. I suggest you sign up for online dating. You can meet and go out with a whole slew of guys at once, which will help you get your mind off this guy, who doesn't want to be with you, and your ex. you might meet someone that way, you might not, but either way it could be a great distraction.
windamere windamere 4 years
My feelings based on what you said, I do not mess with another's boyfriend, husband, or whatever. The problem in our society is women don't care about other woman. I would never date someone who is dating someone else until it was over for some time. It's not fair or right to do that to another woman or human. Walk a mile in her shoes. How would you like it. Be the bigger person and walk away he is obviously still with her. It's about personal integrity. Woman need to stick together in this. You are only thinking of yourself. Don't hurt another this way, it's just wrong.
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