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Staying in an Unfulfilling Relationship

"Why Do We Stay in Unfulfilling Relationships?"

This question is from a Group Therapy post in our TrèsSugar Community. Add your advice in the comments!

Often, we see proof that it's damn difficult to find a nice, decent person as a life partner. Maybe that's why we see too many people settle for someone that they think has enough qualities. Sometimes, though, I wonder if these people are truly happy. Maybe the reason I wonder this even more lately is because I recently ended a relationship I thought wasn't doing me any good, because the person really wasn't making me happy. Even though he seemed like a nice guy to everyone, (he seemed to have awesome qualities, such as fairness and honesty; he was a family fellow, scheduled, organized, hard working, well educated), I saw those subtle details about him that made me uncomfortable, unhappy, bored, and uninterested.

He wasn't bad-looking by all means; he was a cute guy, but his personality just wasn't compatible with mine. We shared many similar interests, went to many events and visited places together, but it was that dryness about everything he did or said that drove me nuts! I thought that it would just get worse. As they say, whatever you don't like about someone will just get worse and worse as the relationship progresses because people don't change their habits so easily, much less their personality quirks. So, even though those things might not have been that significant to the others, I decided to end things, thinking it was only fair to me and to him to end things sooner rather than later.

Keep reading for the rest of this reader's dilemma.

Now that I am single again, I feel that so much pressure has left my shoulders and can't believe how much stress and pressure has accumulated while I was in this "unhealthy relationship." I am glad, now even more, that I ended it, since I wasn't even aware of how much stress I was under! It's funny, but sometimes, even seemingly small things can make our hair curl, and way too often we try to let it go because society or friends tell you that those are the things of insignificance — some petty matter. And we also try to convince ourselves that it's a petty matter, because we are aware of how hard it is to find a decent and good man in today's world. However, I am now even more sure that we really shouldn't settle and that it's definitely much merrier, better to be on your own than in a relationship that doesn't make you happy and fulfilled.

So, it's not only physical or emotional abuse that is a good reason to let someone go, but also the absence of a good, healthy energy or vibe that is so necessary for a nourishing relationship. The problem is that, too many times, we try to overlook these things and try to make it work, focusing on the good qualities the person has. But it's just like cooking a meal with half of the ingredients; it just can't be good! I was wondering if some of you have had similar experiences and if you're in an emotionally unfulfilling relationship or opening the door to better opportunities.

Have a dilemma of your own? Post it anonymously in Group Therapy for advice, and check out what else is happening in the TrèsSugar Community.

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