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Sunday Confessional: Baby, Baby

This week's anonymous confession comes from the TrèsSugar Community group Confession Booth. This confessor finds herself jealous of her pregnant peers. She explains:

"I just found out that a girl I work with is seven months pregnant (I guess wearing scrubs hides the belly well). To be honest I felt kind of jealous. I know so many women (many who are around my age) that are pregnant or have had babies in the last couple of years. I guess I feel left out. I know I don't really want kids in my life right now, but sometimes I wish I could skip ahead to that point in my life."

Do you have any advice?

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Bettye-Wayne Bettye-Wayne 6 years
My unexpected little surprise came when I was 20 and I can't help but feel that I missed out on young adulthood a bit. I have a very supportive family (aka a legion of free night and weekend babysitters) but I can't help but feel a bit jealous when I see a woman in her late 20s with a big pregnant belly and a wedding ring. I love my little one dearly but I wish she had come two or three years from now and with a man I could build a life with. If I ever meet Mr. Right I could easily be persuaded into having more children but if not, I've got my one perfect little girl. What more does a woman need, right?Pregnancy and motherhood are great but freedom and singleness is great too. Sometimes I wish I could sleep in on the weekends and walk out the door without packing and pottying. Enjoy it while you can. There's no need to skip ahead with anything. Take life in slowly and savor every bit of it. Are you in a serious committed relationship? It's worth waiting for. Medenginer has a very good point. It takes a village. If a family is what you want you'll get there soon enough. Don't rush or feel jealous; feel inspired with love to build a life with room for a family.
Bettye-Wayne Bettye-Wayne 6 years
My unexpected little surprise came when I was 20 and I can't help but feel that I missed out on young adulthood a bit. I have a very supportive family (aka a legion of free night and weekend babysitters) but I can't help but feel a bit jealous when I see a woman in her late 20s with a big pregnant belly and a wedding ring. I love my little one dearly but I wish she had come two or three years from now and with a man I could build a life with. If I ever meet Mr. Right I could easily be persuaded into having more children but if not, I've got my one perfect little girl. What more does a woman need, right? Pregnancy and motherhood are great but freedom and singleness is great too. Sometimes I wish I could sleep in on the weekends and walk out the door without packing and pottying. Enjoy it while you can. There's no need to skip ahead with anything. Take life in slowly and savor every bit of it. Are you in a serious committed relationship? It's worth waiting for. Medenginer has a very good point. It takes a village. If a family is what you want you'll get there soon enough. Don't rush or feel jealous; feel inspired with love to build a life with room for a family.
tlsgirl tlsgirl 6 years
I'm the wrong person to ask, because I don't want them at all, but I suppose if you find yourself knowing that at some point, you will, it's natural to be a little envious. I don't want to get married right now, or maybe ever, but I feel a little twinge when one of my friends walks down the aisle. I think it's just human nature.
elizabethsosewn elizabethsosewn 6 years
I know how you feel. Every once in a while I wish i could just be pregnant. I like to Baby Rent as i call it (babysitting) and help out my friends with their kids. it's a lot of fun but it also keeps me grounded because at 20 i still wig out when a baby starts crying. If you have friends who are willing to let you spend time with their baby (to get a break of their own!) take advantage. it'll help a lot. :)
GlowingMoon GlowingMoon 6 years
I agree with Spacekatgal. I think motherhood is right and good for some women, but not for all. Personally, I chose to opt out of motherhood. It's not for me. I was not meant to be a Mom. I guess I'm wired differently. :)
GlowingMoon GlowingMoon 6 years
I agree with Spacekatgal.I think motherhood is right and good for some women, but not for all.Personally, I chose to opt out of motherhood. It's not for me. I was not meant to be a Mom. I guess I'm wired differently. :)
jenni5 jenni5 6 years
The grass is always greener on the other side. I envy women that can just run out to the supermarket without worrying about bringing the kids (making sure they are fed, changed, etc first)or where to leave them. Babies are a LOT of work!!!
Kimpossible Kimpossible 6 years
As a mother of 4, I completely agree with spacekatgal. I love my children and it was the absolute right choice for me (us), but it is not something to decide on impulse.I also agree with finding a hobby or group to get involved in to take your mind off of it for a while (especially since you've stated that you're not ready for that right now).
Kimpossible Kimpossible 6 years
As a mother of 4, I completely agree with spacekatgal. I love my children and it was the absolute right choice for me (us), but it is not something to decide on impulse. I also agree with finding a hobby or group to get involved in to take your mind off of it for a while (especially since you've stated that you're not ready for that right now).
pixiedusk pixiedusk 6 years
i felt that before.... what i did is that i stopped being so into work.. i reckon i need to give me a me time.... now im married and going to be a mum.... i now envy people/girls who works and who dress up and who go out at night =P
pixiedusk pixiedusk 6 years
i felt that before.... what i did is that i stopped being so into work.. i reckon i need to give me a me time.... now im married and going to be a mum.... i now envy people/girls who works and who dress up and who go out at night =P
b1uebunn b1uebunn 6 years
I am right with you! I am 26 and married, and many of my friends are having babies. I've known I want children since I was very young, but it's not the right time just yet. It's hard to wait! But janneth's advice is excellent. Remember that once you do have children, the life you have now is no more. You will no longer have quite so much time to spend with friends, go out, sleep in ever, even the luxury to take care of yourself when you're sick! Being a mother one day will be a wonderful and challenging phase of your life, but don't wish away your life now. I recommend getting your baby fill by helping babysit for your friends' babies, helping out, etc. You can spend time with babies and then give them back!
b1uebunn b1uebunn 6 years
I am right with you! I am 26 and married, and many of my friends are having babies. I've known I want children since I was very young, but it's not the right time just yet. It's hard to wait! But janneth's advice is excellent. Remember that once you do have children, the life you have now is no more. You will no longer have quite so much time to spend with friends, go out, sleep in ever, even the luxury to take care of yourself when you're sick! Being a mother one day will be a wonderful and challenging phase of your life, but don't wish away your life now.I recommend getting your baby fill by helping babysit for your friends' babies, helping out, etc. You can spend time with babies and then give them back!
medenginer medenginer 6 years
The OP didn't mention being married or any stable relationship. It takes a village to raise a child. Children aren't for everyone. I don't look down on those who choose this option. When the time is right you'll make that decision and pursue that option. Life happens when it happens and certain things shouldn't be rushed into.
totygoliguez totygoliguez 6 years
I understand that you may feel left out. Its not fun when everyone close to you is in a different place, even though you don't want to be in that place yet. However, there is no need to rush into something so important, as having a child, just because everyone else is doing it. I think that you should just remember your priories and what you want right now. I remember when my sister-in-law got pregnant, she looked so happy with her baby that she made me reconsider whether I wanted to have children in the future or not. However, I kept reminding myself that children don't fit in the kind of life I hope for myself. Just remember your priorities.
janneth janneth 6 years
It's normal to feel envy. Yoe start to idealize pregnancy, cute little babies, etc. But you said you know that you don't want kids right now. Don't fantasize about skipping any part of your life, just enjoy. When your pregnant or "new mommy" friends are frazzled and exhausted, help them out or cook them a meal. I guarantee they will be very appreciative (and at least a little jealous of YOU).
janneth janneth 6 years
It's normal to feel envy. Yoe start to idealize pregnancy, cute little babies, etc. But you said you know that you don't want kids right now. Don't fantasize about skipping any part of your life, just enjoy.When your pregnant or "new mommy" friends are frazzled and exhausted, help them out or cook them a meal. I guarantee they will be very appreciative (and at least a little jealous of YOU).
KadBunny KadBunny 6 years
Yeah, agreed. Just know that it's normal and you're not alone in this. I feel the same way sometimes, and heck I'm 20 years old. Crazy right? Maybe it's because a few of my friends have had early pregnancies, and while unexpected, they look pretty happy. So I just remind myself of all the things I want to accomplish and have yet to accomplish, because let's face it--as great as babies are, once you have them it's not just about you anymore. But, personally, even if I had the means (say a million dollars and an army of nannies at my disposal) I still wouldn't want a baby at this point in my life. I want to be there for them. My friends had to choose between hiring nannies, staying home, or juggling baby and school on three hours of sleep. I want a career and children, but under my current circumstances both would be impossible. The way I see it, doing well in school and pursuing a career now will not only fulfill me personally, but also set a better foundation for my kids later into the future. Just think of it that way. :) Hope you feel better!
KadBunny KadBunny 6 years
Yeah, agreed. Just know that it's normal and you're not alone in this. I feel the same way sometimes, and heck I'm 20 years old. Crazy right? Maybe it's because a few of my friends have had early pregnancies, and while unexpected, they look pretty happy. So I just remind myself of all the things I want to accomplish and have yet to accomplish, because let's face it--as great as babies are, once you have them it's not just about you anymore. But, personally, even if I had the means (say a million dollars and an army of nannies at my disposal) I still wouldn't want a baby at this point in my life. <b>I</b> want to be there for them. My friends had to choose between hiring nannies, staying home, or juggling baby and school on three hours of sleep. I want a career <b>and</b> children, but under my current circumstances both would be impossible. The way I see it, doing well in school and pursuing a career now will not only fulfill me personally, but also set a better foundation for my kids later into the future. Just think of it that way. :) Hope you feel better!
Hiding55 Hiding55 6 years
I feel the same way sometimes. There are times when I can't stop thinking about being married and having a family. Then, someone will tell me about how their kids are sick and puking all over the house and I push the baby thoughts out of my head because I'm not ready to deal with it. I think what you're feeling is completely normal.
dikke-kus dikke-kus 6 years
It's hard to balance work and children and pregnancies. There were times I would be jealous as well so I know what you mean. I my life I have seen many woman pass their chances by to prove themselves at their jobs. I've seen it happen. I didn't get married until I was 30 and so I had one really late in the nick of time thank God. After I had my son at 35 I wondered what the heck had I been waiting for. I should have just gone for it at 28 like the rest of my friends. Last year I had a friend who was turning 50 and her boyfriend was going to have a vasectomy to be safe. It was like denial. really sad. Anyway at 35 the risks are extremely high, so the younger the better. Do it and don't over think it.
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