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Sunday Confessional: I Didn't Mean To Be Insensitive

Sunday Confessional: I Didn't Mean To Be Insensitive

A few days ago, my sister emailed me with some terrible news. Her dog, that she had for 7 years, had been unexpectedly rushed to the emergency room in the middle of the night. He was in horrible pain, and after taking an x-ray, she and her husband discovered that he had cancer. A tumor had ruptured and there was nothing the vet could do. They had to put him down.

She had raised him from a puppy and her 2-year old girl adored the dog. While I was devastated for her loss, I'm not really an animal person so I really couldn't sympathize with her.

After work, I called to tell her how sorry I was, and to see if there was anything I could do. I was a little scared to call, I just didn't know what to say and in my nervousness, I blurted out the suggestion that she should get another puppy from the breeder that my friend had just gotten a dog from. She got really upset, yelled "How could you even bring up the idea?" and then hung up on me.

I admit that it was probably too soon to bring up replacing their dog, but I was only trying to make her feel better. She totally took it the wrong way and now she's not speaking to me. Do you think she is over-reacting or was I truly being an insensitive person?

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herjoiedevivre herjoiedevivre 8 years
I'm not an animal person either, so if I wasn't thinking I might've said that too. forgive, definitely. now you know what not to say, and it's your sister, they have to cool off and talk to you again eventually. :)
vmruby vmruby 8 years
Definitely forgive...... I believe your heart was in the right place and not being a huge animal lover it's sometimes hard to understand how attached we animal lovers are to our pets. IMO you did nothing wrong except to make a suggestion you thought would help.We are all guilty of that at one time or another.Give her a call,tell her you are sorry and give her time to heal. Good Luck!
vmruby vmruby 8 years
Definitely forgive...... I believe your heart was in the right place and not being a huge animal lover it's sometimes hard to understand how attached we animal lovers are to our pets. IMO you did nothing wrong except to make a suggestion you thought would help.We are all guilty of that at one time or another.Give her a call,tell her you are sorry and give her time to heal. Good Luck!
dguillenm dguillenm 8 years
your heart was in the right place but replacing a loved puppy is like replacing a child after they are lost it takes time to realize they must go on and not live in the moment best thing is be patient she will come around just remember to be availble and be a good listen
hepsmom hepsmom 8 years
I, too have been an obsessed pet owner. My precious cock-a-poo died two years ago. I still haven't been able to get another pet. I loved this dog as if she were my child. My then-pregnant sister suggested that I have her put down, because my dog was having trouble getting around due to old age. It took me a while to forgive her. I told her that her request was similar to me requesting that she have an abortion. I realize now how harsh that was at the time, but that's how much I loved my pooch. She'll forgive you eventually.
ur_momm ur_momm 8 years
as an obsessed pet owner, i can totally understand how she feels, my dog is like my child, raising him, waking up 4 times a night to bring him out, all that stuff... i cant imagine how attached i will be when he is 2. i say dont worry, she will come around, its really just the innitial shock, she is taking out her anger on you. just give her a bit of time and everything will be fine!
tamberly tamberly 8 years
seriously who voted to not forgive?? This is TOTALLY forgivable and the sister is probably just really sad and snappy.
pinupsweetheart pinupsweetheart 8 years
Forgive. I don't think it was the BEST thing for you to say right after she suddenly lost her dog, but I think she was just too upset and took it the wrong way. I would call her back and tell her how sorry you are. We all say things at the moment that we didn't mean to.
marthalilian126 marthalilian126 8 years
Forgive. You did your best and we all sometimes say the wrong thing at the wrong time. What matters is that your intentions were good. Send your sister a card and perhaps some flowers to let her know that you were not trying to be hurtful and I'm sure that she will forgive you sooner than later.
smp7328 smp7328 8 years
Totally forgive.
smp7328 smp7328 8 years
Totally forgive.
the-makeup-blogette the-makeup-blogette 8 years
your friend should come around soon. i am a dog lover too, and can never bear the thought of her leaving or even replacing her, but well - not everyone shares the same kind of bond. you have no bad intentions, i hope your friend will get over it and talk to you soon.
the-makeup-blogette the-makeup-blogette 8 years
your friend should come around soon. i am a dog lover too, and can never bear the thought of her leaving or even replacing her, but well - not everyone shares the same kind of bond. you have no bad intentions, i hope your friend will get over it and talk to you soon.
SugarFreak SugarFreak 8 years
Forgive Forgive. A lot of people, including myself, are horrible at figuring out what to say at someone's loss. I get all awkward because bottom line is that I DON'T know what the person is going through. I have never had a parent pass nor a pet pass nor a spouse pass...so to try to console and give solice to another is just odd for me because I am so afraid of putting my foot in my mouth. The important thing you have to remember is that your heart was in the right place and you said what you said with NO ILL INTENT. You thought you were saying something helpful. Let a few days pass and let her grieve in her own way, then talk to her and tell her that you love her and you didn't mean to upset her--that was the last thing you wanted to do. She should understand, if not right away, then surely after a little bit of time has passed and the trauma has worn off.
SugarFreak SugarFreak 8 years
Forgive Forgive. A lot of people, including myself, are horrible at figuring out what to say at someone's loss. I get all awkward because bottom line is that I DON'T know what the person is going through. I have never had a parent pass nor a pet pass nor a spouse pass...so to try to console and give solice to another is just odd for me because I am so afraid of putting my foot in my mouth. The important thing you have to remember is that your heart was in the right place and you said what you said with NO ILL INTENT. You thought you were saying something helpful.Let a few days pass and let her grieve in her own way, then talk to her and tell her that you love her and you didn't mean to upset her--that was the last thing you wanted to do. She should understand, if not right away, then surely after a little bit of time has passed and the trauma has worn off.
Marci Marci 8 years
Completely forgivable. No one ever really knows what to say at times like these, and as a result, we sometimes say the wrong thing with the best of intentions. Just call her and tell her how bad you feel. She might even realize her reaction was a little harsh.
7kimba7 7kimba7 8 years
Forgive. You were trying to make her feel better. Send her a note or something and tell her that you didn't mean to imply that pets are that easily replaced and you were just trying to be there for her.
7kimba7 7kimba7 8 years
Forgive. You were trying to make her feel better.Send her a note or something and tell her that you didn't mean to imply that pets are that easily replaced and you were just trying to be there for her.
StefaPie StefaPie 8 years
forgive, but you need to sincerely apologize in detail, and don't be such a dumbass again.
Pink81406 Pink81406 8 years
That's a little ridiculous. I have 3 dogs and no children. I understand her being upset maybe you've been insensitive about animals before, but to get angry and hang up on you, then not talk to you. She sounds like a drama queen. A simple its too soon would have sufficed. I would just let her chill for a bit.
leeluvfashion leeluvfashion 8 years
So forgivable! You meant well, it was just horrible timing. Tell her your sorry and that you didn't mean to be insensitive. It was a good idea however you shouldn't say it right after the death; wait a month or two.
yoan190 yoan190 8 years
It's forgivable. All you have to do is to apologize.
Pir8Liz Pir8Liz 8 years
Forgiveable. It's hard for a person to think about getting another dog while they're mourning the loss of their beloved pet. However, it does seem to be a good option for young children. You teach them to mourn the loss and respect the life and good times that you've had with the pet, then when it's comfortable for the parent, you bring in a new animal to continue the happiness that having a pet brings to the family.
redhot redhot 8 years
she just upset needing to be angry
millarci millarci 8 years
Definetly forgive. It was an accident.
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