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Sunday Confessional: I Hate the Gift My Boyfriend Gave Me!

My boyfriend and I spent our first Christmas together this year. I'm a big holiday person so I went all out, spending months racking my brain to think of the perfect gift for him: a ski jacket he'd had his eye on.

We celebrated on Christmas Eve, had a lovely home-cooked meal, and snuggled up by the fireplace — it was a perfect evening. When it came time to open gifts, I wanted him to go first. All my hard work paid off because he absolutely loved it. When it was my turn to open, however, I couldn't have been more shocked — it was like he didn't know me at all!

I get that Christmas isn't all about presents, but I can't help but feel disappointed that he got me such an impersonal gift — a gift certificate to a store I would never shop at! I faked it and thanked him, but I guess my feelings were written all over my face because he knew something was wrong. I hate lying to him so can I be forgiven if I tell him the truth? I just don't think I can keep it in much longer.

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KCLea KCLea 7 years
I think you should tell him you feel gift cards are a bit impersonal. Say that while you are grateful for him getting you something, please try to put a more personal touch into it next time.
RubberDogTurds RubberDogTurds 7 years
wtf people.... NOT forgive. You don't get your significant other a gift card ON YOUR FIRST CHRISTMAS. Plain and simple. Now, don't kick him to the curb but definitely call him out. If he's that insensitive about giving a gift, which is more than just materialistic (showing you spent time shopping and thinking about each other and wanted to surprise the other preson), then who knows what's next down insensitivity road.
ilanac13 ilanac13 7 years
i think that it's important to put things into perspective here. if it's the first xmas that you've spent together - then it means that you've probably only been together a year - or less right? that also means that he hasn't had many opportunities to buy a present, to know what you like and what you don't like. my fiance isn't the best at getting me presents cause he doesn't quite know my taste, and we've been together for 2.5 years. just know that guys aren't always the best at gifts,and that girls are typically more thoughtful - so being that way, you just have to deal with it. maybe you can pass along the gift cert. to a friend and then just be done with it. it doesn't mean that he doesn't care for you - maybe he just didn't know what specifically to get you and didn't want to guess the wrong sizes or something.
GScott86 GScott86 7 years
Guess I'm that 1% lol...4 years in a row and all my gifts are perfect, even when it's not Christmas :-P (Not sure if that sounds dirty...I don't think?)
danizzle danizzle 7 years
MEN ARE FROM A DIFFERENT PLANET! unless your guy falls into the 1% of straight men that actually know how to shop and what you like, they just give you whatever seems good to them. men are like children; you must tell them EXACTLY what you want from them. since october, i've been sending my boyfriend little hints..like emailing him links and when i dragged him to the mall, i would point out things and say "i hope santa brings me that for xmas!"..i also had my best girlfriend call him to help him out. you have to forgive him, but for the next holiday, make sure to give him a little list of things that you do want, even if you have to spell it out for him...it will save you upset and disappointment the next time around!!
bchicgrl bchicgrl 7 years
I think if it was so important to you, you should have given him hints on what you wanted (kinda like you noticed him looking at the ski jacket) Guys can't be expected to be able to read our minds especially when it's a new relationship. Granted I think a gift card is a last minute panic gift but like others said at least he got you something. I would try and trade it in for money, either via the store or a friend/family who does like to shop there. Next year just make sure you leave hints laying around about what you would like.
bchicgrl bchicgrl 7 years
I think if it was so important to you, you should have given him hints on what you wanted (kinda like you noticed him looking at the ski jacket) Guys can't be expected to be able to read our minds especially when it's a new relationship. Granted I think a gift card is a last minute panic gift but like others said at least he got you something.I would try and trade it in for money, either via the store or a friend/family who does like to shop there.Next year just make sure you leave hints laying around about what you would like.
kristyy kristyy 7 years
Hey, don't feel bad. I'm married and my husband still sucks at gift giving! I'm a big birthday/holiday person and love shopping for people, getting them personal gifts that show that I know them. At this point, I'd be happy for a gift card to my favorite store. Even though he continues to disappoint me in the gift giving department, he's wonderful in so many other ways that I just sigh and move on. Then I buy whatever I like and make myself feel better. :)
darkkissezz darkkissezz 7 years
at least u got a gift....
darkkissezz darkkissezz 7 years
at least u got a gift....
Sugasuga29 Sugasuga29 7 years
I took back every single thing (except one) that my husband got me this year. Gloves that didn't fit, workout gear that didn't fit, and a perfume gift set that upset me, cuz I specifically asked him to pick out a bottle of perfume for me that HE liked the scent of. He has laughed it off and said "I didn't do so hot this year!" I have a feeling next year he'll return to his thoughtful gift-giving...cuz that's what counts--being able to tell that someone put thought into your gift! Not just a gift certificate to a random store. ;)
Sugasuga29 Sugasuga29 7 years
I took back every single thing (except one) that my husband got me this year. Gloves that didn't fit, workout gear that didn't fit, and a perfume gift set that upset me, cuz I specifically asked him to pick out a bottle of perfume for me that HE liked the scent of. He has laughed it off and said "I didn't do so hot this year!" I have a feeling next year he'll return to his thoughtful gift-giving...cuz that's what counts--being able to tell that someone put thought into your gift! Not just a gift certificate to a random store. ;)
momma-tikita momma-tikita 7 years
I say forgive. My hubby and I always tell each other the truth when it comes to presents!This year the only thing I told him him were a few hundred "thank you"'s.One year he bought me a bracelet that was cute but not me and I told him. Yea he was a little disappointed but he'd rather have me wearing something I love than something that's "cute".
momma-tikita momma-tikita 7 years
I say forgive. My hubby and I always tell each other the truth when it comes to presents! This year the only thing I told him him were a few hundred "thank you"'s. One year he bought me a bracelet that was cute but not me and I told him. Yea he was a little disappointed but he'd rather have me wearing something I love than something that's "cute".
mondaymoos mondaymoos 7 years
I think I'm one of the only people who say forgive for not liking it. A GIFT CERTIFICATE?? It's one thing if he put thought into something and you hated it... then I would keep it to myself like Not Princess. But a gift certificate is a COMPLETE cop out. If you're a terrible gift giver, then give me a terrible gift. Anything's better than a gift card, especially if you don't like the store it was bought from. If you can't trade it in for cash like someone else suggested, I'd craigslist it.
fancifulfabi fancifulfabi 7 years
My boyfriend got me several little gifts for Christmas, all of which I really liked. But he threw in a hideous pair of earrings and I told him honestly that they weren't really my style. He was totally cool with it, wasn't mad at all and we actually laughed about it. In fact he told me later that he was really glad I was so honest with him when I didn't like something because then he could tell that when I said I did like something, I meant it.I think honest, open communication can only be good for a relationship, provided you both tread carefully around each other's feelings. With time hopefully you'll be comfortable enough around each other that a little playful criticism won't be blown out of proportion.
fancifulfabi fancifulfabi 7 years
My boyfriend got me several little gifts for Christmas, all of which I really liked. But he threw in a hideous pair of earrings and I told him honestly that they weren't really my style. He was totally cool with it, wasn't mad at all and we actually laughed about it. In fact he told me later that he was really glad I was so honest with him when I didn't like something because then he could tell that when I said I did like something, I meant it. I think honest, open communication can only be good for a relationship, provided you both tread carefully around each other's feelings. With time hopefully you'll be comfortable enough around each other that a little playful criticism won't be blown out of proportion.
laceymace laceymace 7 years
My guy's gift to me was complete shit but I love him so whatever.
RockAndRepublic RockAndRepublic 7 years
Yes, men suck at shopping. Jeez! What is this?:P
CYL CYL 7 years
Eh....you are right Christmas isn't about the frikin gifts. You had a great evening together, he got you something you didn't like...but he tried. So let it go. Why would you go tell him and hurt him? Its not like its a piece of jewllery he expects you to wear every day and its hideous.
CYL CYL 7 years
Eh....you are right Christmas isn't about the frikin gifts. You had a great evening together, he got you something you didn't like...but he tried. So let it go. Why would you go tell him and hurt him? Its not like its a piece of jewllery he expects you to wear every day and its hideous.
krae85 krae85 7 years
A ski jacket? This man is gay. You have bigger problems than christmas presents..
cravinsugar cravinsugar 7 years
also, as mentioned above, guys don't get women and shopping. drag him along to facorite stores about 2 months before Christmas, and gush over things your eally like. he will pick up on it eventually. my fiance lives in a house with LOTS of women (his sister, her friend, 4 nieces at varying stages of life...child to 20 something) so he has an idea about what needs to be done. hahaha. i am so goofy. just writing this makes me want to go find him and give him a big cuddly hug because he is so thoughtful towards me, and caring. too bda i can't see him until wednesday night
cravinsugar cravinsugar 7 years
also, as mentioned above, guys don't get women and shopping. drag him along to facorite stores about 2 months before Christmas, and gush over things your eally like. he will pick up on it eventually. my fiance lives in a house with LOTS of women (his sister, her friend, 4 nieces at varying stages of life...child to 20 something) so he has an idea about what needs to be done. hahaha. i am so goofy. just writing this makes me want to go find him and give him a big cuddly hug because he is so thoughtful towards me, and caring. too bda i can't see him until wednesday night
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