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Sunday Confessional: I Hit My Girlfriend

I am really confused. It's been seven days and my girlfriend of one year has not picked up my calls or spoken to me. Seven days ago, we had a major argument at her place and I had couple of drinks too many, then one thing led to another and I hit her. After I realized what I had done, it was too late. She had no interest in listening to what I had to say so I left. I am doing everything in my power to let her know how sorry I am, but she won't accept any of my attempts. My feelings of guilt and horror are unimaginable.

I know I will never ever do it again -- this experience completely changed me. I never could have imagined being such a bad guy. I am really down in the dumps and don't know where to go from here. Can I ever be forgiven and will I ever be able to forgive myself?

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50shadesofgreyaddict 50shadesofgreyaddict 3 years
and just to get sth straigh- nobody's someone's property- especially when that one is someone you can easily lose.
50shadesofgreyaddict 50shadesofgreyaddict 3 years
okay everyone, hiting someone is certainly not a good reason to solve things out! conversely, you make it even worse and more complicated. i know there are times we all wanna hit someone to death, but it all comes to pulling ourselves together and doing our best to keep calm. if you don't wanna ruin everything you don't beat anyone. you need to keep your brains in your head, be logical while everybody else goes mad and insane. this way, you're not only helping yourself, but in time you show the right way to the others.
rolfen rolfen 4 years
I also hit my girlfriend. To be fair to myself, she has a horrible attitude sometimes. I also thought I would never do it again, I cried warm tears and asked for forgiveness. And I did it again. I found it to be really helpful in this case not to blame anyone. Nor myself nor her. Once I stopped laying blame on her, myself, the world, or whatever I thought was to blame, it allowed me to accept things she did and I did, and gave me a platform on which I can progress. It may also be because I know that if I do it again now, there will be no getting away from it this time. But I believe everyone involved in such a situation should not torment themselves with blame. If you don't do it now, I think you will eventually reach a point where you will have no other options to get out of this cycle alive then to quit blaming and accept things.
jlpgunner jlpgunner 6 years
You know whatever the situation is in the future it is out of your hands and that has to be respected otherwise your displaying control issues which indicate it would happen again.Reality is that trust is broken when physical abuse occurs no matter what the situation is but for some of these Holier then now folks judge yourself before judging someone else.Abuse is abuse no matter what form it is and telling someone they are disgusting is ABUSE even if it is a horribly wrong decision to make.It is life and only those affected by the situation have any merit on the outcome no matter of opinion.That being said it should never had happened.
quixotiq quixotiq 7 years
I feel for you. On Friday night, I hit my boyfriend, who I love dearly. Again, too much booze was involved, and we were arguing. I have never done it before, and I never want to do it again. I am going to see someone for help this week, but meanwhile I am mortified. He was so shocked, and then he turned cold and said 'you hit me' and left with another woman. I ran after him, tears streaming, saying 'sorry', 'sorry', 'sorry', and then I did another bad thing, I tried to stop him, physically, from getting in the cab with her. Hanging on to him/bear hug kind of stuff. He pushed me away and eventually they left. I feel so awful. I have apologised over and over, but he won't answer. I got one message from him the day after, 'you did f&**(n punch me', and then nothing since. It's no excuse, I know, but there were extremely stressful situations involved, including this other woman, but I don't want to get into that. Anyway, I still shouldn't have punched him. It wasn't in the face; it was slaps/smacks around the ribs, just blind rage. I so want him back; I am in total despair. This has never happened to me before. Does anyone have advice?
calli-gurl calli-gurl 7 years
u dint do it on purpose. u werent in ure senses. THIS IS WHY NO ONE SHOULD EVER DRINK she should understand that. and forgive u well, ure forgiven by me
starinajar starinajar 8 years
Completely UNFORGIVABLE. The fact that you were drinking is NO EXCUSE TO HIT A WOMAN. I'm glad she was smart enough to leave you and realize that she would be compromising her safety to be with you. You also should not start dating other women. You've shown your true personality when you hit your ex-girlfriend, and no woman deserves to be physically hurt. When I was in high school, a teacher who was divorced was shot by her ex-husband for her leaving him, back in 2004. I have absolutely NO TOLERANCE for men who hit women.
frieddumpling frieddumpling 8 years
If it was me, I would do the same as your girlfriend have done. You should move on because your girlfriend sounds too smart to allow herself to be put in such a situation again. Treat your next girlfriend better and take it as a lesson learn.
kidinthesixties kidinthesixties 8 years
this is why I am sober. alcohol does nothing but cause problems, pain, mistrust, hatred, everything that is considered wrong. I've learned my lesson from being an alcoholic. I suggest you stop drinking and work a program of recovery such as alcoholics anonymous. second off, one of the first things out of your mouth should have been I WILL STOP DRINKING. I mean, if you're really going to use alcohol as your excuse, and you want her back THAT badly, if you STOP drinking [and WORK a program of recovery] and make sure she knows this, it will help her to begin trusting you again.
fukmeimfamous fukmeimfamous 8 years
there is no reason on earth to hit a girl no matter what. kudos for her not sticking around.
e-von e-von 8 years
This is a tough one. I think time will tell whether you can be forgiven or not. If this kind of behavior became habitual, then obviously it's a serious problem. But if this was just a one-time incident, then your relationship may not be entirely doomed. If your girlfriend does forgive you, don't expect immediate recovery of your relationship. You may need to be patient and give your girlfriend time before she can trust you again.
BeHappy BeHappy 8 years
its great that you admit that you did something wrong but now you gotta get help for it one way or another because it WILL happen again
BETTYROCKETS BETTYROCKETS 8 years
my EX-boyfriend after 2 years hit me. it was once and since then weve been over. i loved him soo much and we had soo mnay plans for the furture and he took all dat away wen he did dat. he was tipsy too and we had the biggest fight we ever had. it was at his place and he wouldnt let me leave bcuz he ddnt want the neighbors to hear how loud i was crying and call the cops on him. he choked me then slammed me on the tile floor while on top of me still choking me. i was still yelling at him but wen he begun to call me a 'dumb bitch' (which he has NEVER done)then i was scared ..he didnt punch me, slap me, or kick me but its still hitting me! he was yelling at me real bad and then we was crying like a child apologizing on his knees. it was a huge mess. i finally ran out the door while he was crying on the floor. i woke up with huge bruises and was completely sore.. didnt expect to completley tell the whole story but this is to you ... TOUCHING HER WAS NOT RIGHT. SHE SHOULD HAVE LET YOU SPEND THE NIGHT IN JAIL. IT IS WRONG AND A CRIME. ALL PEOPLE MAKE MISTAKES SO I HOPE YOU JUST DONT DO IT AGAIN BUT DONT TRY TO GET BACK WITH HER BECUZ SHE WILL JUST BE LIVING IN FEAR EVERYTIME YOU ARGUE. AND THERE IS NOTHING ROMANTIC OR CUTE ABOUT THAT! MAKE SOME CHANGES IN YOUR LIFE AND MOVE ON FROM THIS. ASK GOD FOR FORGIVNESS NOT US. MAyBE WRITE HER A LETTER TELLING HER YOUR SORRY AND DONT CONTACT HER AGAIN BCUZ SHE DESERVES BETTER. GOOD LUCK IN YOUR LIFE.. HOPE YOU ACTUALLY LEARN FROM THIS.
Mantis Mantis 8 years
get help, and stop making excuses for yourself, being drunk is not excuse for what you did.
redphoe redphoe 8 years
Hey there, So, bit of a pickle here isn't there? Let me try and see how I feel about it. Firstly, hitting girls is a big no-no. However, it's been mentioned above but I think it needs re-iteration here: there's a big big difference between breaking someones nose with a punch or restraining them with a wristlock if they start attacking you. However seeing as the title of this piece mentioned hitting, I'll assume the worst and take it that it was a punch. Then, there's a few hard realisations that need to be made. Your girlfriend would have to be exceptionally forgiving (the cynics amongst us would doubtless feel 'stupid' a more apt adjective), to get back with you. Therefore I'd recommend letting it go, and accept that you may have lost her. There's also your reputation to consider. There's a bit of a stigma being labelled as a woman-beater, as I'm sure you've noticed from the above posts. Unfortunately, there's no way out of this now. As to whether you should be forgiven, of course you should! Provided, of course, you go and get some professional help, it might enable you to discover the root of your problems and ensure that you won't endanger your next promising relationship. Everyone makes mistakes, and to everyone who was so ready to demonise you I'd say this: Should any human being have their entire life written off for a second of misplaced rage? No murders or rapes have been committed, and you show remorse for your actions. You have your own heavy burden to bear after this incident, and given that you seem to have a conscience, this may be penance enough. Make changes to ensure that nothing like this ever happens again, and get on with your life. Best of luck.
prynsays23 prynsays23 8 years
Sorry to hear about this But as someone who has hit and been hit, don't let anyone tell you that you can't change!!! or "once a hitter always a hitter" b.s. There is hope for you! I started going to counciling rescently & my life has changed. Although the episodes happened long ago, I saw that they stemmed from underlying issues...not my boyfrined making me mad. PLEASE seek help immediately, you should get help before you ruin more relationships & waste more time if you don't fix it now!! Best of luck to you...oh, & don't expect her to talk to you ever again. :)
lily3484 lily3484 8 years
I think that is forgiveable under the right circumstances. If I were you, I would look into why you chose to hit her (it definitly goes beyond too many drinks). You should definitly emphasize how sorry you are and maybe consider seeking some counseling to help you deal with an unresolved issues you may have. She might feel better knowing that you are taking this seriously and want to fix the problem the best you can.
CityGirl7 CityGirl7 8 years
P.S. they ALL say they'll NEVER do it again, which means that they would. They can't help it.
CityGirl7 CityGirl7 8 years
P.S. they ALL say they'll NEVER do it again, which means that they would. They can't help it.
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