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Sunday Confessional: I Led Him On

For as long as I can remember, I've had the horrible tendency to pursue a guy until he's totally into me, and then dump him right as things start to heat up. There's just something about a crush being interested in me that suddenly makes me totally uninterested in him. In many ways I think I just like the thrill of the chase. Now I'm heading into my late-20s, and struggling with the same habit. I've tried to work on it but I just can't force my feelings.

Recently I met a truly wonderful guy. We started dating and hit it off immediately. In fact, things were going so well that I thought I might be finally getting over my issue. Over the months we were dating, I learned that he was dealing with the recent loss of his mother. I was shocked that talking about something so serious brought us closer together instead of sending me out the door. Well a few weekends ago, we went out, I drank way too much, and ended up very sick. He took care of me, brought me home, and stayed the night with me to make sure I was OK. As soon as I woke up the next morning, I immediately sensed something had changed in me; I was over it.

That night we had plans to hang out but I never called him back. The next day he called to see what happened and again, I didn't call him back. I ended up breaking up with him via voicemail. He called one last time to ask what he had done wrong, and to try to talk things over with me, but I ignored him. In the past, breaking up always felt like a relief, but this time I felt terrible. I realized I'm actually feeling a loss. Now I want to work things out with him, but I heard through a mutual friend that he's totally disgusted by my behavior. Do you think there's any way for him to forgive me?


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