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Sunday Confessional: I Slept With My Friend's Father

Sunday Confessional: I Slept With My Friend's Father

Dear Sugar
I had an affair with my best friend's father who was 24 years older than me (he was 47 and I was 23). He was going through a separation with his wife, who also happened to be my friend's step mother. At the time, he was sad, vulnerable, handsome, and VERY persuasive.

I found myself feeling sorry for him and one thing lead to another when my friend left for work one morning after I had spent the night at her house. He was the first guy that I have ever been with that was significantly older than me and the sex was fantastic.

The problem now is that I find myself dreaming about sleeping with him again all of the time. The one time steamy affair happened well over a year ago, yet I have still never breathed a word of it to my friend.

I did however, run into her father at the grocery store the other day and now it seems like I have to constantly keep myself occupied so that I don't break down and call him. I feel so guilty about this, because I am lying to my friend ... but should I feel guilty about craving the best sex of my life?

He is now divorced and single, and I am single too. I know that my friend would feel both disgusted and feel betrayed. However, I must confess that I did it once and if given the chance to do it again, I'd jump on him in a heartbeat!

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AmorFati AmorFati 8 years
Frankly, I'm not sure this was or is a good situation for you, and that's my main problem with it. I don't see much unforgivable about sleeping with any guy once, especially when the age difference means there is a significant difference of power and responsibility. You didn't make him cheat on your friend's biological mother, and he had a choice in the matter. But if it's not an isolated incident and you can't put it behind you, I'd worry you are getting in over your head. That should be more important than what your friend thinks. She's really not an issue here or shouldn't be. The issue is, just because you're attracted to a man doesn't make him a good match, and would you know this guy at all if it weren't for the family connection? If you did, would you think he was an appropriate partner? What do you have in common? Those are the things you should be thinking about. So forgiveness is not an issue so much as taking care of yourself. If you don't do that because the sex is/was good--not forgive.
Litew8lady Litew8lady 8 years
It's her best friend's father, get it right. Anyways, I would NEVER forgive you if I was your friend, are you serious? You need to learn to control yourself. This has nothing to do with weather or not he is single. Honestly, how would you feel if your best friend slept with your father?
Thehills101 Thehills101 8 years
Wow...ur friends father?! That's so wrong on many levels...I dated a friends brother once and needless to say we are no longer friends..it may have been different if had actually told her we continued to see each other but I didn't...if u care about ur friend at all u should come clean to her...find urself some other old guy who has no connection to ur friend...although u come clean u may have tarnished ur friendship too much already but out of respect for ur friend tell her and end it with the dad!!! ♥јεήή♥
LizaToad LizaToad 9 years
i can't imagine doing that to a good friend, that's nasty
XDeexDeeX XDeexDeeX 9 years
Ok, that is gross.
Shpohlc Shpohlc 9 years
OH MY GOD...eww... i would never be able to live with my parent either eww.. groos thoughts and pictures
x x 9 years
well, i must admit, i would really enjoy being in an exciting situation like that!!! that's just as far as the "sleeping with my friend's father" bit goes. kinda tricky when that friend happens to be ur closest. the chance of damaging this friendship is definitely not worth the excitement...but if i had some kind of indication that she wouldn't mind, i'd jump for the ride no doubt
Dariana Dariana 9 years
Simply put, I cannot imagine sleeping with or having anything in common with someone that much older. The difference is a lifetime.
kendalheart kendalheart 9 years
KendalHeart So it was your friends dad, many people are getting that mixed up. I think that you once made that mistake and put it in the past for now and move on with you life. Find another older man if that is what you like....I know I have been hit on by my friends dad once that thought NEVER crossed my mind I mean come on its your best friends father! Just move on...
tifygodess24 tifygodess24 9 years
All you have to ask yourself is...would you want your friend doing this to you ? And if she did how in the world would you feel?
sugar_princess sugar_princess 9 years
i chose forgive..u did it once, but dont do it again..if u two got married, ewwwewewew!!! you'd be ur friends step mom..also,you'll 4get about him for another guy...we all do crazy things.
angelbaby2 angelbaby2 9 years
i forgive-sometimes things just happen and no one needs to know about your fling. I wouldn't let it happen again but move on and enjoy your friendship and just keep the memory-one of my friends did a similiar thing-she slept with her daughter's ex boyfriend. She later married a really nice guy (not the one that she slept with) who was age appropriate. She has a nice memory of a fun fling that her daughter never found out about.
Brittany14706805 Brittany14706805 9 years
i dont think wanting sex and thinking he looks good qualifies as having "feelings" for this man. She just had good sex and thats what she wants now. I dont forgive.
katie225 katie225 9 years
eh, i forgive. it doesn't seem like a big betrayal to me, as long as you were single at the time. the guy was going through a divorce. women fall for much older guys all the time (my bf's dad was 30 years older than his mom!), i don't have a problem with it. i think you actually had feelings for the guy, since you mentioned that you felt bad for him and one thing led to another. i just don't see why your friend would feel betrayed. maybe grossed out, but not betrayed. if you're going to call the guy up again, let it be known to your friend. tell her you have feelings for her dad (maybe you could keep the first tryst on the downlow), and explain that your friendship is more important and if she feels betrayed by your feelings, you won't act on them.
PrincessLola PrincessLola 9 years
hahaha, that is so funny, so practically unbelievable. :) i love all the confusion that came out of it, and the freakin pucture is so fugly and fills the mind with dirty dirty images!!! :( Chicks before dicks all the way, there's ALWAYS another guy to choose, someone more appropriate. no way in hell i'd be able to live with it if it was MY dad!!! but then maybe i just have issues thinking of my parents being intimate... ICK! :( BringbackBrilson
gossipqueen gossipqueen 9 years
FRIEND'S FATHER...NOT boyfriend's! lol... DEAR SUGAR: please, next time, don't put up such a disgusting picture..lol..that tends to fill the mind with nasty images about the person asking the question... ----------- I forgive you...although i find it TOTALLY GROSS...and the sad thing is that no matter how you tell it to your friend she would feel betrayed anyway. If you ever wanted a relationship with him you would have to cut off your friend for good (unless she has no problem with it..which i doubt) if is just sex....
xobreathexo xobreathexo 9 years
Somethings are best kept secret. But if it continues and grows into a real relationship, then I would confide in my best friend and hope to be forgiven and understood
Brittany14706805 Brittany14706805 9 years
i agree how can u sleep with ur friends dad thats so ugh, and thank you fashion_doll for clearing up to those who misread and keep saying bfs dad. It does say in the paragraph HER so it is obviously her "girl" friends dad. No matter though i still say its gross and wrong.
My-Opinion My-Opinion 9 years
There's a word for that, it's called Ho*
Imabeliever Imabeliever 9 years
I was going to say..I would have much perfered a picture of Mena and Spacey vs that pic!! HA! We can all do something rash and out of character at one time in our lives..as a sort of freebie mistake. This definately was yours..so no more freebies. Behave. Whatever you do ..do not tell a soul. If you decided to do it again... that is all on you since now you know better. You are older and wiser and in retrospect know it wasn't the right thing to do no matter how enjoyable. And from his point of view? Shame on him..what does that say about him..no integrity as a man. So this is between you and your conscience...just be prepared to lose a friend and suffer the consequences of your actions.
lolak lolak 9 years
Sick, I find some older man attractive too but I would never sleep with them...SPECIALLY if they were my friend's father!!!!!!!
fashion_doll24 fashion_doll24 9 years
This whole story sounds sooooo 'American Beauty'....But even Mena Suvari was smart enough NOT to go through with seducing Kevin Spacey
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