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Sunday Confessional: My Boyfriend Broke My Vibrator

I've been dating my boyfriend for about four months, and I thought everything was going great. The other night, we were getting it on, and I reached for my vibrator (like I always do), but when I tried to turn it on, it didn't work. My boyfriend said, "I guess the batteries are dead."

The next day, we were on our way to the grocery store and I said, "Oh, remind me to get batteries for the you-know-what." Then later that night, we went to bed and he started putting on the moves. When I reached for my vibrator, I remembered it wasn't working. "One sec," I said, and I ran downstairs, got the batteries, and came back to the bedroom. When I went to put them in, I could tell that it was totally broken. I looked at my boyfriend and was about to show him when he yelled "Dammit, why do you even need that thing?" Then he stormed out of the bedroom.

I followed after him and said "Babe, what's wrong?" He wouldn't answer and was acting really anxious, and I said, "Wait a minute — did you do this?" He started yelling, saying he should be all I need, and how he thinks it's weird that we use it every time we have sex. He even said he thought it was bizarre that I can't get off without a piece of "machinery."

So I'm a little annoyed that he broke my vibrator, but I'm really pissed that he was so rude, insulting, and insensitive to me. He even let it go so far as to let me buy new batteries and go through the trouble of running downstairs to get them. If he was so upset about it, why didn't he just say something instead of breaking the thing? Should I forgive him for acting like a child, or this this a sign that our relationship is doomed?

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sugar-n-spice sugar-n-spice 8 years
Definetly forgive him! I would be insulted if my boyfriend needed anything else other than me to "get off". Get out of your own selfish bubble and look at things from his perspective!
robs1325 robs1325 8 years
What he did was immature. If he is unhappy about the situation, he should have talked to her about it instead of breaking her (probably expensive) toy.
robs1325 robs1325 8 years
What he did was immature. If he is unhappy about the situation, he should have talked to her about it instead of breaking her (probably expensive) toy.
nicaw nicaw 8 years
I had to register JUST to comment on this. My choice was to "not forgive." 1) it's a new relationship, 2) it's obvious he's jealous, 3) it's obvious he's a liar, and the big one 4) it's obvious he is not completely satisfying you and not understanding or considerate of her needs. She didn't mention if he is doing anything else to help her reach her orgasm. Nor did she mention foreplay. I say not forgive for my four reasons above but because you can see that he is selfish. Instead of talking to her about it, he breaks her vibrator? I would make him buy me another one (a Rabbit at that). Get him to buy me several months worth of batteries and then kick him to the curb.
nicaw nicaw 8 years
I had to register JUST to comment on this. My choice was to "not forgive." 1) it's a new relationship, 2) it's obvious he's jealous, 3) it's obvious he's a liar, and the big one 4) it's obvious he is not completely satisfying you and not understanding or considerate of her needs.She didn't mention if he is doing anything else to help her reach her orgasm. Nor did she mention foreplay.I say not forgive for my four reasons above but because you can see that he is selfish. Instead of talking to her about it, he breaks her vibrator? I would make him buy me another one (a Rabbit at that). Get him to buy me several months worth of batteries and then kick him to the curb.
amybdk amybdk 8 years
Well said, michelleyk, futonfighter.This post really frustrates me!I say forgive - because not forgiving and holding a grudge give him power over you. Step away from the A-hole...
amybdk amybdk 8 years
Well said, michelleyk, futonfighter. This post really frustrates me! I say forgive - because not forgiving and holding a grudge give him power over you. Step away from the A-hole...
WhatTheFrockBlog WhatTheFrockBlog 8 years
He broke one of your possessions, and lied about it. I wouldn't forgive him for that.But there's an underlying issue here. He's not satisfying you sexually and that's something you guys need to work out. IF you forgive him for the destruction of property and lying. Which I wouldn't.
WhatTheFrockBlog WhatTheFrockBlog 8 years
He broke one of your possessions, and lied about it. I wouldn't forgive him for that. But there's an underlying issue here. He's not satisfying you sexually and that's something you guys need to work out. IF you forgive him for the destruction of property and lying. Which I wouldn't.
futonfighter futonfighter 8 years
He should have talked to her, not just broken it. What the hell does that mean, he's justified in breaking her stuff when it suits him? I don't see her letting that go and it being ultimately good for the relationship. Most women require extra stimulation to reach orgasm, its not a slight against him as a man. Unless he's offered to provide alternatives to the stimulation the vibrator provides, I'd say he's not only missed the point but missed the opportunity to improve their sex lives AND make himself look good. I kind of wouldn't be willing to forgive. It's not the feelings he has, it's the way he went about expressing it - and then lying by omission after the fact. That's kind of pathetic. Even worse, he then tries to turn it around on her like SHE'S to blame for HIS BEHAVIOUR. I'd be inclined to dump him stat but if he's communicative in all other issues but this one then I'd give him the opportunity to redeem himself.
PJ-PJ-PJ PJ-PJ-PJ 8 years
chakra, I feel for this girl too. I don't get it. I'll bet her boyfriend wouldn't be offended if she used her hand, instead of her vibrator. He would probably love that, but he wouldn't see the irony of her still needing to get the job done herself (because he isn't or hasn't tried). Some guys just let their insecurities keep them from seeing the bigger picture.
jJuliet jJuliet 8 years
ladylibertine, I'm not taking a class in this. I was genuinely concerned enough about this relationship to post what I see. You don't have to agree with me, but based on this situation, I think this guy is bad news. Putting the blame on the girlfriend is completely out of line.
chakra_healer chakra_healer 8 years
BRANDYNICOLE730, I am not single (getting married in a few weeks), not a mother, and own at least 4 vibes of varying sizes and strengths. I also own dildos and other sex toys, which I personally use, my SO uses on me and I use on him. They can be an enhancement or an requirement for some people, so be it. Doing what you like with your body is a personal choice. The OP just has to find someone who is a match for her style.
chakra_healer chakra_healer 8 years
CaterpillarGirl, lolol michelleyk, PJ and aujah, ITA! Can you imagine people want to tell someone how to get off? She gets the job done as she sees fit, it is her body and her choice. Also, if the OP is 21+ she has probably tried every way, right? I mean, I wore every position and techinique out by second BF. *blush* If the man is insecure, that's his problem. She is under no obligation to work through his feelings of inadequacy or understand why he destroyed her property. OP, find a man, a mature one, who doesn't get offended by something that is an enhancement, not a replacement.
BRANDYNICOLE730 BRANDYNICOLE730 8 years
Here's a clue, don't pull out a vibrator everytime your man tries to have sex with you. How insulting to your man!! I agree that you are ADDICTED to your vibrator. Give your man a chance to please you without the help of your battery powered boyfriend. It's kinda like your man asking that another female be included in ya'lls sex life everytime, so that he can get off, because you're not doing it for him alone. To call this guy "borderline psychotic," is absolutley ridiculous. He got mad, and surprise, surprise, HUMANS have flaws, some of which include emotions and the ability to get upset. He probably broke it because he wanted the chance to prove himself, and knew breaking it was the only way. Like he would never replace the thing... And to break him down like a case study into narcistic abusers, is crazy. The female also shows atleast half of those exact same characteristics. Maybe this over use of vibrators has a connection with the "I don't need a man," single mother epidemic...
PJ-PJ-PJ PJ-PJ-PJ 8 years
Also, don't let anyone make you feel guilty for wanting to use your BOB every time. If that's how you like/want it, then that's just the way it is.
PJ-PJ-PJ PJ-PJ-PJ 8 years
Jeesh, people. Give the girl a break. How was she supposed to know the vibrator was a sensitive issue with him, if he suddenly has a problem with it after she has "always" been using it? It doesn't sound like she can read minds. I chose forgive him, even though all he had to do was say "Why don't we try it with out the bob tonight...maybe you can tell me what you like...?" Maybe you can sit down (away from the bedroom) & have a gentle talk with him. Have a little sympathy for the guy. It's not easy to compete with a vibrator. That being said, he sounds immature in so many ways, from breaking your vibrator to being jealous of it. My husband actually bought me a vibrator! I don't feel like using it every time, though. I also don't think I would have gone all the way down stairs to get the batteries for it! Have a little sympathy for your guy, as long as he is open to learning how to make it fun for you. And, make sure you get a new vibrator, for Pete's sake!
lintacious lintacious 8 years
obviously there is no communication in your relationship. i would fix that first before you fix anything else.
CaterpillarGirl CaterpillarGirl 8 years
No question in my mind at all. Not Forgive. Get rid of him. He is seriously immature and borderline psychotic for breaking your vibrator. Who does that? I have NEVER heard of that!! Is he going to forbid you from manually getting off? Or watching Porn? Does he get to fondle himself but you’re just supposed to focus on him and him alone? Plus does he even have a healthy view of sex in general if he doesn’t understand what a BOB means to a female. I am just picturing this dude, holding the vibrator…turning it around in his hands , turning it on, unscrewing the bottom so the batteries are exposed, wondering how to break the darn thing…….How do you break one? Run it over?
bp21sugar bp21sugar 8 years
my ex-boyfriend did that to me too
LaLa0428 LaLa0428 8 years
Dump him and buy another vibrator. I'm fine with him not wanting to use it with you, but destroying it so you can't use it at all is another thing.
nikodarling nikodarling 8 years
From his point of view I can see the issue. Male sexuality is so vulnerable and their egos are so easily bruised. I can understand that if this is something he isn't used to seeing he may think you are offending him. But if this is how he handles problems in the relationship this is a much bigger problem. This is how children behave when they are upset about something not how adults should be behaving. I'd talk to him maturely and let him know where you are coming from then give him a chance to do the same. If he cannot have a mature conversation about this with you and apologize for breaking your property then goodbye and good riddance.
cubadog cubadog 8 years
I think you and your boyfriend need to learn communication skills. Instead of breaking BOB he should have talked to you about how he feels but he is a guy and sometimes it is a little tough. I think you need to let him know that you are disappointed he did not come to you and tell you how he was feeling than find a way not to include BOB in all of your activities.
AujahAcorn AujahAcorn 8 years
i think some of you girls are forgeting that girls are all different when it comes to um... cumming. some girls if they want to finish have to do it themselvs. some can cum on top, some on bottom. some not at all unless they have a vibrator. some never. so who cares if she is using a vibrator? He has the problem.
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