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Sunday Confessional: My Roommate's Been Having Sex in My Bed

Sunday Confessional: My Roommate's Been Having Sex in My Bed

Since graduating from college, I've been living in a house with two other girls; we were all friends in school. There are only two bedrooms, and one of the girls has to sleep in an alcove off the living room — she pays far less rent. It's not an ideal situation, but it's what we can all afford. Luckily, I'm often gone on the weekends to see my boyfriend, so I can get away. However, recently upon getting home, I started getting the feeling that someone had been in my room.

I'm fairly clean and organized, so I couldn't help but notice an extra glass of water on my bedside table and a pillow on the ground. I didn't want to accuse anyone of anything, so I kept my mouth shut. One day my roommate, who has the other bedroom in the house, approached me privately and told me that she was sure our other roommate was bringing guys over and having sex in my bed. Apparently she had heard certain noises coming from there on more than one occasion when I was gone and even saw one guy sneak out in the morning.

Obviously this news both infuriated and disgusted me — I had been sleeping in those sheets! I've always felt bad for our roommate, since she has little space and just a futon mattress in the alcove, but I have a huge problem with her taking over my bed to sleep with some guy. I confronted her, and we had a huge fight. We're currently not speaking, and I want her out of the house. Only now, my other roommate is trying to convince me to just let it go. She doesn't want us to kick her out and she's tired of all the tension in the house. I don't want to be a drama queen, but I still feel totally disrespected and unnerved by the whole thing. Should I listen to my other roommate and forgive her? Or are my feelings justified?

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tlsgirl tlsgirl 7 years
Not forgive. Ewwww! Who would even want to do that!?!?! And I agree with the poster who said to lock your door when you're away. I'm so skeeved out by that.
NadiaPotter NadiaPotter 7 years
still... ewww OMGWTF
NadiaPotter NadiaPotter 7 years
there are worse thing, worse stories it is a WTF situation but, still, you "caught" her on time so, FORGIVE is only my opinion. You weren't there, you can be mad because she didn't tell you and she didn't clean your bed. But yeah, you can let it go, is better for everyone, is more healthy, think of your other roommate who is tired of the tension.
i-am-awesomeness i-am-awesomeness 7 years
And she doesn't sound like a good friend if she had these random guys come in and stay in your bed. She threw the friendship out the window at that point. And like a lot of other people said, SHE made the decision to pay less rent and not get another job, SHE decided to sign the lease or whatever legally binding contract you three made up(you DID have her sign something, didn't you??), SHE decided that the alcove would be enough space for her to live and meet her needs. No one forced her to live there. She knew when she signed on the dotted line what she was getting into and if she didn't, she's a dumb@ss and a skank and you shouldn't have to deal with this.
i-am-awesomeness i-am-awesomeness 7 years
Ick! I would totally freak out, and I would have every right to. Don't forget the rampant problem with bedbugs nowadays too, aside from all those STDs. She should buy you new sheets, apologize profusely and beg for your forgiveness. If she doesn't, try to kick her to the curb ASAP, or at the least, lock your room.
michelle-c42934 michelle-c42934 7 years
Do not forgive!! If she is your best friend then you could consider forgiving, but if shes just a flat mate then I say kick her out, or get a key for your bedroom door so that she can't get in.
PJ-PJ-PJ PJ-PJ-PJ 7 years
You have a right to be pissed. That is just such an invasion. If she wants to have a private place to do her thing, she needs to find an actual room to rent & move there. I wouldn't kick her out just yet, but I do think that would have been my first reaction...to want to. You should look into getting a lock for your bedroom door. A serious one, like a deadbolt! Check with the landlord first. Good luck.
emalove emalove 7 years
DISGUSTING. I would ask her to move out.
sugar-n-spice sugar-n-spice 7 years
ew ew ew ew EW!!!! Uncalled for!
JaimeLeah526 JaimeLeah526 7 years
I feel bad for your roommate. She has to sleep in the alcove when you're always gone on the weekends. If you don't even spend the weekends at home than you shouldn't make her sleep in the living room. I agree that she shouldn't have sex in your bed but there has to be some way to fix this.
RockAndRepublic RockAndRepublic 7 years
And in addition to that, I'd still kick her out. But if economy isn't allowing, advertise for a new roomie and then, after you get one, give that lady her 30 day notice.
Since legally you're not required to have her there(as in she has no bedroom), the ball is in your court. I doubt a landlord would make provisions for you to have a roommate who doesn't have a room but somehow goes on the lease.
RaCheer RaCheer 7 years
I'm seriously surprised how many people voted "Not Forgive". I agree that what she did was disgusting and disrespectful but come on...
Poster-of-a-Girl Poster-of-a-Girl 7 years
not forgive! I would demand that she move out, and when the other roomie doesn't back you up, ask her whether she has ever worried that her bed is being defiled in the same way when SHE's not home :P Or you should move out. Either way that is a serious disrespect of boundaries and would be difficult to get over.
lovelie lovelie 7 years
This is so far beyond disrespectful, I don't even know what to say. I for one, regard my bed as sacred..and it exists only for me to sleep in (or do whatever). Not only is this filthy, disgusting behavior...it also sounds like it has been a reoccurence which was the scale tipper for me...NOT FORGIVABLE!
DarlingDA DarlingDA 7 years
Uck - it's one thing if she wants to get an STD, but she's putting you at risk for pubic lice and crabs - do not forgive!!
bluebellknoll bluebellknoll 7 years
Not forgive. She was completely disrespectful and disgusting. Get a lock for your bedroom door asap.
Neekoh Neekoh 7 years
Disgusting! There's no way you can fully forgive her and make everything go away... if you do, you're still going to be uncomfortable leaving your house and that's going to lead to more confrontations and tension. I say she needs to leave and it's ok if you can't let go of it -- that's a pretty big deal! Good luck!
emmebeth emmebeth 7 years
There's no need to kick her out. Put a lock on your door.
Sporky Sporky 7 years
I would not have a problem with what she did, had she apologized and gotten me new or cleaned sheets. It's the not telling you about it that bothers me. If she were my friend, I'd understand as long as she were respectful about it, since you're not around much on the weekends and she'd like some privacy. But if I were her, I'd make sure your room and bed were spotless, you know? Otherwise it's just plain rude and she should move the hell out.
Liss1 Liss1 7 years
Not forgive! So gross! That is just disgusting. If she wants more privacy than her alcove gives than she can move. If you haven't done so get a lock on your door.
fleurfairy fleurfairy 7 years
Install a lock on your door and lock it whenever you're away. Problem solved. If she is still bitter, tell her to find her own place to live.
Janine22 Janine22 7 years
That is beyond disgusting. I would be horrified if I were you! I guess you should forgive her, just for the fact that you have to live with her for now. Get a lock on your door and lock it every time you leave the house please!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! If this girl says anything about it, tell her that it is unfortunate that things had to come to this, but obviously she has no respect for you.
jaxon jaxon 7 years
NOT FORGIVE!! Yes we've all slept on a bed that SOMEONE has had sex on. But we also had sheet and blankets on the mattress. For her to have sex in your bed on your sheets and leave it for you to come home to is BEYOND TRIFLING!! The B*TCH needs to go... She is obviously untrustworthy and disgusting. She chose her living arrangents and accepted a lesser amount in rent for the inconvience. She should have thought of wanting to SLUT around before then. I say slutting around b/c if it was a BF she prob would not have to "sneak" him out in the a.m. You are completely justified and the other roommate needs to STFU...if she does not see it as a big deal she should have never told you about it. Tell her to offer the girl HER bed when she wants to have company and see how "Okay" that is... If they can't respect you then get a lock on your door and start looking to move
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