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Sunday Confessional: Was it Not my Place?

A girlfriend of mine introduced me to her best friend's ex-fiance. They dated on and off for about two years and she pressured him into a premature engagement, that obviously didn't work out. When he and I met, there was an undeniable connection despite my girlfriend forewarning me about her connection with him. As it turns out, I actually really like him -- we have great chemistry and I have enjoyed every bit of time spent with him.

Now it all sounds fine and dandy, but my girlfriend is angry with me. She thinks I put her between a rock and a hard place by dating her best friend's ex. Apparently this girl is still heartbroken and my friend feels like she is betraying her BFF by remaining close with me. Since I don't know this girl, I don't feel badly for dating this guy, but I do however, feel guilty for causing unwarranted drama for my girlfriend. So am I in the wrong here?

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calli-gurl calli-gurl 7 years
if this girl is ure friend, yeah ure at fault but since ure not, not really u dont really have to give a crap. he moved on, so gotta she
calli-gurl calli-gurl 7 years
if this girl is ure friend, yeah ure at faultbut since ure not, not reallyu dont really have to give a crap. he moved on, so gotta she
Janine22 Janine22 8 years
I smell some jealousy here from your friend. She sounds pissed that she didn't get him to me.
mandy_frost mandy_frost 8 years
Forgive for sure. If no gal can date a guy that a friend's friend dated, nobody would date. Too many people in this world are connected. Trying to find someone who nobody knows is impossible. This shouldn't be an issue.
e-von e-von 8 years
I don't think you did anything wrong at all.If you and this guy like each other and neither of you are already in a relationship, then the two of you should be free to be together.As for that friend of yours, she seems to be reacting to the situation like a high school teenager rather than an adult. She needs to understand that you do not owe anything to the ex-girlfriend, ESPECIALLY being that you do not know this woman, and ESPECIALLY being that you had nothing to do with the breakup. And no, it does not matter that the ex happens to be your friend's BFF. Again, you've never met this woman.Your friend also needs to understand that getting in the way of YOUR happiness will not help anyone or solve anything. In fact, it is truly unfair for her to do so. If her BF is still heart-broken over the relationship, what your friend needs to do is help her MOVE ON like a real "BFF" would.
e-von e-von 8 years
I don't think you did anything wrong at all. If you and this guy like each other and neither of you are already in a relationship, then the two of you should be free to be together. As for that friend of yours, she seems to be reacting to the situation like a high school teenager rather than an adult. She needs to understand that you do not owe anything to the ex-girlfriend, ESPECIALLY being that you do not know this woman, and ESPECIALLY being that you had nothing to do with the breakup. And no, it does not matter that the ex happens to be your friend's BFF. Again, you've never met this woman. Your friend also needs to understand that getting in the way of YOUR happiness will not help anyone or solve anything. In fact, it is truly unfair for her to do so. If her BF is still heart-broken over the relationship, what your friend needs to do is help her MOVE ON like a real "BFF" would.
htiduj htiduj 8 years
let me get this straight, you dont know his ex fiance? you just share a mutual friend? if that is the case, dont feel bad! your friend is being RIDICULOUS for being angry at you for liking this guy. its not like it was HER fiance. it was her best friend's fiance. somebody you dont even know. instead of being angry at you, your friend should be helping her best friend get over her heartbreak and get her to move on. thats what friends do. in the end, their relationship has nothing to do with you. so go for it with the guy - you just never know if he will be "the one". (and think of it this way, everybody has an ex. what are you going to not date anybody simply because an old ex of theirs may get hurt?!?!)
htiduj htiduj 8 years
let me get this straight, you dont know his ex fiance? you just share a mutual friend?if that is the case, dont feel bad! your friend is being RIDICULOUS for being angry at you for liking this guy. its not like it was HER fiance. it was her best friend's fiance. somebody you dont even know.instead of being angry at you, your friend should be helping her best friend get over her heartbreak and get her to move on. thats what friends do.in the end, their relationship has nothing to do with you. so go for it with the guy - you just never know if he will be "the one".(and think of it this way, everybody has an ex. what are you going to not date anybody simply because an old ex of theirs may get hurt?!?!)
LolaDub LolaDub 8 years
i agree with controlled spin it IS definelty a samll world, things happen.
LolaDub LolaDub 8 years
um if..then why she introdued u guys in the first place?..:pnder: if she knew his position...then why bother??...im confused.
controlledspin controlledspin 8 years
Forgive.Everybody dated somebody before you. It's a small world.
controlledspin controlledspin 8 years
Forgive. Everybody dated somebody before you. It's a small world.
dyvineessence dyvineessence 8 years
No. You are not wrong. Like you stated, you don't know that girl. You don't owe her anything, and you can't change how you feel. So my best thought is to forget about it. If yur friend is mad at you thn oh well. Not to be a bitch or anything like that, but she is a female and she knows how you feel. I understand that it is her bff's ex, but he is just that, an ex of her friend. It shouldn't be a big deal. Be happy, and if he makes you happy, then stay with him
dyvineessence dyvineessence 8 years
No. You are not wrong. Like you stated, you don't know that girl. You don't owe her anything, and you can't change how you feel. So my best thought is to forget about it. If yur friend is mad at you thn oh well. Not to be a bitch or anything like that, but she is a female and she knows how you feel. I understand that it is her bff's ex, but he is just that, an ex of her friend. It shouldn't be a big deal. Be happy, and if he makes you happy, then stay with him
DecemberBaby DecemberBaby 8 years
I kinda agree with Asia84. Why did she introduce you to him? Look if you like the guy and he likes you. stick with him. If she doesn't want to be your friend oh well. Especially if you don't know that other girl. They're broken up and she needs to realize that. When a relationship is over that's usually when people start dating other people. I say bunk them and get yours.
Asia84 Asia84 8 years
why did she introduce you to him??? sounds like high school drama. you have no obligation the the ex. she IS an EX, so they ( your friend and the ex-gf) need to get over it.
Asia84 Asia84 8 years
why did she introduce you to him???sounds like high school drama. you have no obligation the the ex. she IS an EX, so they ( your friend and the ex-gf) need to get over it.
apsara1 apsara1 8 years
There's nothing to forgive but you might want to omit this from your relating of the story "They dated on and off for about two years and she pressured him into a premature engagement, that obviously didn't work out. " You don't know that it was her who pressured him - and you really should try to just think of it as "It didn't work out" without attempting to lay the the blame on him. If you meet someone you click with - go for it if there are no obstacles (wife girlfriend or his ex is YOUR best friend)
sarah-lynn sarah-lynn 8 years
it's not like she was the one with the guy. she needs to get over it if she feels like she's betraying this other girl, why should she be allowed to guilt you out of your happiness?
Hazel2 Hazel2 8 years
You do not know the girl. therefore you are not betraying anyone. If your friend was worried about it she shouldn't have had you guys meet, knowing that it may be possible you guys would have good chemistry. So she is more in the wrong for introducing you to her best friend's EX. Thats whats wrong, is that she introduced you to him in the first place. Plus you can't help who you fall for.
Mantis Mantis 8 years
If we start looking at that type of connections we would´t have friends at all! The girl is not even your friend, and besides, a new guy will rock her world in about a month and she would probably forget all about him, that means, you would have lost a friend for nothing! Totally forgiven
butterflyforaday butterflyforaday 8 years
You shouldn't even be asking for forgivness in a situation like this. You are totally in the right. Its not like you know her best friend. And if she truly loves him and he doesnt love her then she should let him go beacuse you are the one that makes him happy and she should want whats best for him, even if it hurts her. If I have learned anything in life it's you need to be happy before anyone else, and if that means loosing people along the way then they were never worth it in the first place if they are so easy to loose. So after that long explination, you don't need my forgiveness, you just need to be happy and stop worrying about your friend. When your friend sees how honestly happy you are with him it wont be a big deal anyways.
Malarie Malarie 8 years
Your friends friend needs to get over it.
Daddisgrl Daddisgrl 8 years
Your GF in this... if she was one of your BF's it would be one thing. It sounds like you guys are casual friends. Why does she really care? You aren't in her "direct" circle. Think of it this way.. You probably won't have the same friends in 2 to 5 years, yet you may have this guy and his kids. I never really liked chicks growing up - total back stabbers.. too many rules. Are you still in high school? Too bad things didn't work out with your GF's BF & this guy. Too bad she's hurt. She needs to move on. Sounds like the hold someone I know has on a guy I know. Get over it. Shame on the BF for putting your GF in this situation and more shame to your friend for allowing it. She needs to stand up to her BF & tell her she isn't your mother (or his) & that you are old enough to make up your own mind.
Daddisgrl Daddisgrl 8 years
Your GF in this... if she was one of your BF's it would be one thing. It sounds like you guys are casual friends. Why does she really care? You aren't in her "direct" circle.Think of it this way.. You probably won't have the same friends in 2 to 5 years, yet you may have this guy and his kids. I never really liked chicks growing up - total back stabbers.. too many rules. Are you still in high school?Too bad things didn't work out with your GF's BF & this guy. Too bad she's hurt. She needs to move on. Sounds like the hold someone I know has on a guy I know. Get over it.Shame on the BF for putting your GF in this situation and more shame to your friend for allowing it. She needs to stand up to her BF & tell her she isn't your mother (or his) & that you are old enough to make up your own mind.
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