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Talking About Romantic Relationships to Family

Group Therapy: My Boyfriend Tells His Brother About Our Arguments

This question is from a Group Therapy post in our community. Add your advice in the comments!

My boyfriend and I have been together for a couple of years and have a generally great relationship. We have lots of fun together and have a great connection, but we do have our occasional arguments. The arguments we do have are usually about important issues that we are constantly working on to resolve and have a better understanding of one another.

Whenever we do have an argument or a fight about one of these issues, my boyfriend immediately gets a hold of his brother (usually via IM) and goes on a rant about me. It really bothers me that he feels the need to tell his brother about all of the negative things about me, and it makes me feel like I'm just getting thrown under the bus. 

I never go running to any of my friends or family every time I get mad at him, because I do not think it is fair to talk bad about him to the other people I care about. I don't want to portray a bad image of him to others, and I think there needs to be some sort of privacy in a relationship, especially regarding issues that we have between us.

I'm not really sure how to handle this. Part of me is worried that if I do bring this concern up, he will then go running to his brother and tell him all about this too. Should I just roll with it and learn to accept the fact that he needs to consult his brother about everything? I really just hope his family and friends don't start to get the wrong picture of me. It makes me very sad.

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