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The Things He Shouldn't Tell You

The Things He Shouldn't Tell You

Earlier this week, I stumbled upon an article from AskMen.com that lists the things a guy should keep from his girlfriend in order to avoid any potential arguments. Apparently, the motto around there is, some things are just better left unsaid. Since we've had our own discussions about what can be left out in a relationship — past misgivings or number of sexual partners — I thought I'd share the list with you. To see whether or not you concur or completely disagree, just

.

He should never mention:

  • Women that he's had random hookups with throughout the years.
  • The fact that it was only in recent months that he finally moved out of his parents' house officially.
  • All kinds of trouble that his friends are up to that would both horrify and disgust you.
  • One girl in particular from his past that he wishes he could have made it work with.
  • If he's checking out porn on the regular.
  • He was actually into your friend before he had any interest in you.

I think quite a few of these could actually be flipped in the other direction too, but what do you think? Did they get it right? Are these all the things you'd prefer never to know?

Source

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Join The Conversation
Muirnea Muirnea 7 years
I would want to know all that stuff. I think everything about a person gives you insight into their personality, so all of that stuff matters to me. And how am I supposed to make an informed decision about the guy if I don't know all the details about him? I would want to know about random hookups because that kind of tells you how wild he is/his views on sex and what it means to him. The parent's house thing would matter what the situation was and how old we were, and would tell me if he is lazy or not possible. I would want to know what his friends do b/c that reflects him...he is friends with those guys/girls for a reason...that's his personality and if I'm dating him, obviously I want to know his real personality. The girl from his past he wishes he could have made it work with: I would want to know that b/c if he still thinks that about someone, that would mean I am second best in his opinion. I would want to know that so that I could then leave him and find someone to date who really loves me more than anyone else in the world...everyone deserves to the be the best to someone...not second best. Yes I would want to know if he is checking out porn...b/c maybe I am not ok with that (how would he know if we have never talked about it!?). And if he is doing something I don't know about, that means I don't know the real him....and I might not want to date the real him...so he better tell me about the real him, so I can make a real decision about staying with him or not. Into my friend before me: This is the only one I agree with, that a guy shouldn't tell you. In this case, it would only make me insecure to know about it, and if he choose me over my friend in the long run, then its all good. The only thing that would change this is if it turned into the "girl he wished he had made it work with" (which would be my friend at this point), then of course I would want to know like I said earlier. I don't want to be second best...especially if he thinks my friend is "first best". I'm like the only person disagreeing with this post, lol, but I just don't understand how you can like/love a guy if you don't truly know who he is. And all this stuff helps you know who he is. I would be hurt if a guy kept stuff like this from me, and its kind of scary that a lot of people feel stuff like this should be kept from your S.O. I guess I'm in the minority, but I feel like you should tell the truth even if it hurts someone else, because they should be allowed to make their own decision regarding you with all the facts. It is not your place to decide for them whether they like you or not, and by keeping things from them, that is essentially what you are doing (just giving them the facts you know they will like and that will keep them coming back to you). Sorry for the rant....lol.
annbaby annbaby 7 years
"One girl in particular from his past that he wishes he could have made it work with." If he STILL wishes he could have made it work with her, then it means he'd rather be with her than you. This he should definitely keep to himself.
ally14 ally14 7 years
I wouldn't mind if my bf kept from me those things but I wouldn't mind knowing when he moved out of his parents home.
jlynn818 jlynn818 7 years
Again, "He was actually into your friend before he had any interest in you." -- that happened to me too. I tried setting my guy up with two different people. He actually did like the 2nd one after meeting her and after she spent the whole day flirting with him.. but she didn't like him. Finally he and I got together and we're very happy.
AnnaLove AnnaLove 7 years
Oh and he made sure to tell me this before things got *too* heated, which I think I appreciate. Bitch didn't tell me herself... ugh.
AnnaLove AnnaLove 7 years
Ooh the friend thing. 4 years before we met, my boyfriend dated my friend that set us up... I don't feel that bad about it cause I know I'm better looking than her :) and I'm the one he ended up with. Plus she's far away in the Air Force now.
sundaygreen sundaygreen 7 years
the parent's house thing wouldn't bother me one bit.
italianblonde italianblonde 7 years
The random hookups can be left out, unless of course they are current. I'd want to know if he lives with his parents!! How can you really hide that though if you're dating. I'd want to know what his friends get up to because they kind of represent how he is, in a way..I have a lot of guy friends so I probably wouldn't be disgusted, just used to it. OH and two of my friends had that happen to them-their current boyfriends like their friends first. And most importantly, why is there an 'IF' in front of 'he's checking out porn on the regular'?????
ajennilynrushhh ajennilynrushhh 7 years
yeahh, i wouldn't wanna know any of this but i'd wanna know at the same time cuz i would want my boyfriend to be honest with me..
Marci Marci 7 years
I definitely do not want to know about that one girl in particular from his past that he wishes he could've made it work. What does our relationship have to gain by my knowing that?
JaimeLeah526 JaimeLeah526 7 years
I agree with all of those things except the moving out of the parent's house thing. That would help explain some of his issues and idiosyncrasies. These are things you could share if you had a really comfortable relationship later. I'm not sure about the friend thing because that means that you'll always feel weird about that friend. Plus, your woman might like to watch porn with you. Check it out before you assume she won't like it.
Colleeninator Colleeninator 7 years
I agree that he should probably keep quiet about all of these things TO START WITH, but everything should be discussed at some point if the relationship is intended to be long-term. However, if his friends are into some sort of serious trouble/issues, etc., it could easily affect him in ways you wouldn't understand without him explaining the situation.
Sun_Sun Sun_Sun 7 years
yea i wouldnt wanna know any of these either maybe a few more things i wonder about but im pretty sure i dun wanna know
Blackwood Blackwood 7 years
"it would only make me feel uncomfortable and maybe resentful towards my friend and him" ---> I meant if she did know and didn't tell me beforehand (not because him being attracted to him, because she couldn't possibly control that), and him not for actually being attracted to her, but for being such an a**hole enough to tell me that to begin with! haha sorry, just had to make that clear. x)
Blackwood Blackwood 7 years
the porn, parents' house and random hookups wouldn't bother me. You can't blame anyone for having a past, or pleasuring themselves (I know of women who feel that looking at porn and/or masturbating counts as cheating). about comments on his friends... that could only be good for gossip, which in itself is good for nothing (always ends up getting trouble for everyone involved), and honestly, because if they trust him, why should he break their trust by telling me, when I couldn't care less to begin with? I would be kind of disappointed or alarmed that he would do the same with the things I tell him in private. But then again, everyone is different and most people I know believe that being a couple means telling each other anything (sometimes even your bowel movements! ugh) so I know that I'm kind of particular in regards to that. about chasing my friend before becoming interested in me... well I happen to believe that would be completely gratuitous and inconsiderate to me. seriously, what would be the point? why would I need to know that? it would only make me feel uncomfortable and maybe resentful towards my friend and him, and also make me feel insecure about how attracted he is to me, like he's just settling down with the second best, and that maybe in the back of his mind he still wants her (paranoid, I know, but it would be pretty awkward). I really think that that kind of stuff are better off left unsaid, because it doesn't bring anything (good) into the relationship, and shouldn't be relevant anyway (except in the case that he is still hung up on her, which furthers my point). Same thing with the other girl he wishes he could have "made it" with. What's the point and the actual necessity ('cause that's what would worry me the most) of letting anyone know that? I mean, if he would only say it once and in a context where it was relevant, then it would be fine. But other than that, why would somebody feel the urge of telling his current partner that? It would ring so many alarms for me. Sorry for the long post, I just let myself get carried away xD
Fushaa Fushaa 7 years
I agree. These are definitely things I wouldn't want to know. Well, the parents house thing and the porn thing don't bother me as much as him wanting to work things out with a girl from his past
Le-Luxe Le-Luxe 7 years
I would not want to know any of this! No thanks.
DecemberBaby DecemberBaby 7 years
Yea I wouldn't want to know any of this.
alliallialli alliallialli 7 years
I agree with almost all of these, but I don't think the porn thing is a big deal either. I can see why some women would get upset about it, though.
oh-cecilia-baby oh-cecilia-baby 7 years
while i appreciate honesty, if i were just getting involved with someone, i wouldn't want to know most of those things either. so i can agree with this list.
ThePerfectScore ThePerfectScore 7 years
I don't think the porn thing is a big deal.... but the list isn't too far off...
violinladyfreak violinladyfreak 7 years
woww....
sweettea sweettea 7 years
dude if any guy ever thought it is ok to say he was into your friend before you than he really is not smart enough to be around.
pinkprincess1101 pinkprincess1101 7 years
none of those are severe but my fiance and i are pretty open so he knows all my past as im sure i know his
DearSugar DearSugar 7 years
Kikidawn — That's quite a story. It's funny how life works out sometimes!
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