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Three's Enough For Me

Three's Enough For Me

Dear Sugar
I am a happily married 30 year old woman, and the proud mother of 3 young children. My husband (who is 44) and I have always talked about having 4 children, but I don't think I want 4 anymore. I'm perfectly content with 3, but he keeps talking about "the next one" and if it will be a boy or girl ... etc. He's so excited and I feel like I've been leading him on for years, because I always said I wanted 4 children as well. I don't know how to tell him that I want to be done having kids. Would I be completely out of line for wanting to break this promise? If he's really upset, I guess I could just suck it up and have another, but I don't really want to. What can I say to him to lessen the blow? Content With Three Bree

Dear Content With Three Bree
I don't think you are out of line for wanting to re-negotiate. This is a serious discussion worth having with your husband. 3 kids are a lot of work as it is. If you are the primary care giver then you have more than just the right to your opinion. Having a child just to avoid an argument isn't a good choice. You are young, but your husband will be 65 by the time your 4th child is 20 years old. In his golden years, he's still going to be working for support a child in college. If money isn't a point of contention, how about the time factor. Is there enough of you to go around to 4 kids? Do you have the patience or even the physical strength to carry and bear another child right now while you already have 3 to care for? Talk openly to your husband about your concerns. This is an important decision.

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