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It's Time To Say Bye To My Abusive Guy

It's Time To Say Bye To My Abusive Guy

Dear Sugar
I am 20 years old and have been married for ten months. Before my husband and I got married, he was abusive. The first time that he hit me I was pregnant with our daughter. I left him for almost two years and he spent some time in jail but has since been released.

He promised me that he's changed so I decided to give him a second chance. Since we got married, he has continued to abuse me. He has only hit me once, but he is verbally and emotionally abusive on a daily basis. I know I need to leave him but I don't know what to do or where my daughter and I can go. I am so confused, can you help? Tortured Tanya

To see DEARSUGAR's answer

Dear Tortured Tanya
I am so sorry to hear about your situation. I understand this is an extremely confusing time for you, but you are doing the right thing by leaving your husband. Abusers do not change overnight even thought they make promises, their behavior only gets worse without professional psychiatric therapy.

Do you have any family members or friends you can stay with until you can get your feet on the ground? If you don't feel comfortable confronting anyone and there are no other family members around, there are many online services, free of charge that can offer support, and guidance 24 hours a day, seven days a week.

Try contacting The National Domestic Violence Hot Line or The National Coalition Against Domestic Violence for help and advice.

Although your daughter is still young, this behavior is bound to impact her life as well so the sooner you leave your husband the better.

Now is the time to set an example of courage and bravery. Abusers can be master manipulators and tend to feel deep remorse for their abuse only to strike again so don't let him fool you. Hang in there, be strong, and remember there is always help out there.

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