Note that this list is from the pet point of view. As if we didn't already know that we're on their leashes...
10. The Great and Benevolent Provider of Life-Giving Flakes from the
World Above The Surface
9. Mister Thinks-He-Owns-The-Place
8. Visitor from Beyond the Cage
7. Waste Disposal Unit #2
6. Hunter of Delicious Cylindrical Animals in Hard Shells
5. The Dupe
4. Maitre d'
3. Pitching Machine
2. Poop B*tch
1. The Person Who Always Points at Me After She Farts