- Critical: She makes jokes, especially in front of others, at your expense.
- Emotional manipulation: She'll stop talking to you (or not respond to texts, emails, IMs) when she doesn't get her way.
- Disrespectful of boundaries: She may pick a fight or guilt-trip you if you say no to something small like not going out one night.
- Self-absorbed: When you want to talk about a problem, she's busy; yet when she has a problem, you're expected to drop everything.
- Breaks promises: Of course even the most well-intentioned friends have to break promises and plans occasionally, but if it's a pattern, then it's a problem.
To see the rest,
- Trash talker: If she's constantly talking about others, then she's probably talking about you.
- Competitive: Sometimes competition is unavoidable, but if you feel like you're competing over everything — attention, grades, relationships — then it's probably not your imagination.
- Emotionally high-maintenance: You're constantly catering to her emotions and planning for her reactions. You may even deny your own wants because it's not worth her drama.
- Revolving door of friends: If she has issues and drama with multiple other friends (or previous ones), then it's probably not them.
- You defend her: If you defend her with arguments like "I've known her forever" or "she's so nice," then you might want to take a closer look at her not-so-nice side.
How have you handled toxic friends?