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True Confession — Am I Just Being Judgmental?

I know how much you all love our Sunday Confessional, so my friend at True Confessions is joining forces with me to bring you a midweek confessional! Weigh in and tell us if you forgive or don't forgive the confessional below.

"I cant stand my fiancé's family. They are mean to me and I don't like the way I feel or act around them. I worry that he will cheat on me because his dad cheated on his mom for 10 years of their marriage. I love him so much, but I don't know if I can go through with it. Can I be forgiven for passing this kind of judgment when my financé has given me no reason to distrust him?"

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ashleycheer ashleycheer 7 years
I have no idea what to choose. I chose undecided. Everyone has judgments.
ashleycheer ashleycheer 7 years
I have no idea what to choose.I chose undecided.Everyone has judgments.
Janine22 Janine22 7 years
Do you feel this way based on his reaction? Does he seem to approve or not care about what his dad did? Is there a reason for you to feel this way? Time to have a big talk with him about this issue. I hope you have told him how his family makes you feel, because he should be defending you if his family attacks you. If he does not do so, you really need to reexamine your relationship before getting married. Maybe counselling for the trust issues? Good luck and I hope you can resolve some of these issues before walking down the aisle.
Marci Marci 7 years
I don't see this is a Forgive/Not Forgive issue. The real issue is that you don't trust your fiance. And without that innate, basic trust, your relationship isn't going to make it. So I can forgive you for the way you feel, but my forgiveness isn't going to resolve the big problem that's at hand here.
Renees3 Renees3 7 years
I think you're being unfair to your poor guy that has done nothing wrong. I also think it's unfair to assume that he's going to turn out like his parents. I know plenty of people that see where their parents went wrong and strove to change that part of their life. But if you're this worked up about it, maybe there's other things going on and you should hold off on getting married
K-is-For-Kait K-is-For-Kait 7 years
It is a bit cruel of you to judge your fiance based on something his father did. Imagine if you were the one with a parent who cheated.. would you want to be judged based on that? Quite simply, your fiance is not his father.There is a big problem with you disliking his family, though. If you marry him, you're stuck with his family for the rest of their lives. I'm assuming that he loves his family since you're around them in the first place, so it would be awful you tried to pull him away from them at all. Unfortunately, I don't think it's really an issue with his family as it is how you perceive situations in which their around (ie - you admit to acting differently around them,) so this is something that only you can work out. Make sure that you're not going to change your mind as soon as you marry this guy.
K-is-For-Kait K-is-For-Kait 7 years
It is a bit cruel of you to judge your fiance based on something his father did. Imagine if you were the one with a parent who cheated.. would you want to be judged based on that? Quite simply, your fiance is not his father. There is a big problem with you disliking his family, though. If you marry him, you're stuck with his family for the rest of their lives. I'm assuming that he loves his family since you're around them in the first place, so it would be awful you tried to pull him away from them at all. Unfortunately, I don't think it's really an issue with his family as it is how you perceive situations in which their around (ie - you admit to acting differently around them,) so this is something that only you can work out. Make sure that you're not going to change your mind as soon as you marry this guy.
juicylove juicylove 7 years
well.. if his mom is still with his dad who cheated for 10 years then thats a really bad example.. and it might make him think its okay? but usually, i would think that seeing how cheating broke up his family etc. would make him not want to.
skigurl skigurl 7 years
he's actually very likely not to cheat, because he probably saw what a devastating effect it had on his mother and their family...you don't have to love your inlaws, as long as you truly trust your fiance, you're fine
JaimeLeah526 JaimeLeah526 7 years
Your fiance didn't do anything to deserve being distrusted. Just because his Dad cheats doesn't mean he's going to.
kia kia 7 years
Forgive. A red flag is a red flag and when you choose to get married you deserve to at least listen to your intuition every step along the way before you say "I do" no matter how random the flags may be. Hopefully you realized there is no reason to be alarmed if your guy has shown no reason to question his intentions.
michelle-c42934 michelle-c42934 7 years
I was undecided, this is forgiveable, you shouldn't go through with a marriage if you arent sure. But why are you being so judgemental, he won't cheat because his dad did. How did he act when he told you this, was he angry? if so then he might be less likely to cheat knowing what it does to relationships. But I don't really think its about being forgiven, you need to make up your mind. If you would break up with a man who you supposedly love just because you don't like his family, then do you really love him?
Hootie Hootie 7 years
Forgive. :hug:
lawchick lawchick 7 years
It's not fair to you fiancee to not trust him because of something his dad did. I think you have a much bigger issue than just not liking his family. Y'all should go to pre-marital counseling and get this all out in the open.
ayuninur ayuninur 7 years
forgive..
ayuninur ayuninur 7 years
forgive..
geebers geebers 7 years
I voted forgive because I really don't see how there is anything to forgive here. You cannot help how you feel. The issue here is this -if you don't trust your fiance then why are you even with him? For that matter, why marry someone if you don't trust him and are judging him for his family's actions towards you? And why doesn't his family like you? Are they just snobby? I think the the person you need to really get some answers from is him- not us. And also, while I do think we marry not just the person but their family- the bottom line is that the family should really not be a reason to judge the person you are choosing to spend your life with.
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