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True Confession — I Told Him He's Bad in Bed!

True Confession — I Told Him He's Bad in Bed!

Weigh in and tell us if you forgive or not forgive this True Confession.



"I told my boyfriend of a year that he is bad in bed; which he is. Even though I knew that comment would hurt him, I felt I had no choice. I'm frustrated with not getting off when we are together, and feel like he isn't putting in enough effort to please me. Can I be forgiven for speaking the hard truth?"

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annnka annnka 6 years
i voted "Forgive" because at least i wish that guy does it. It can be you really fall in love but in stress show that you are not happy and this makes it an end to all there was before. Unfortunately. When you never really wished to hurt their feeling. I vote for the mistakes to be forgiven - it could lead to a drama for both otherwise.
calli-gurl calli-gurl 7 years
totally forgiven. its unfair that he has a good time and ure not having a good time. and u said that u feel like hes not putting all effort in to please u. there should be a reason for u to feel that way. truth hurts. and this truth would sting. but without telling him, how could he improve. now that he knows that he sucks in bed, he`ll actually make an effort to please u. u can tell him what it is that makes u feel good and what not. honesty is the best policy, specially if ure in a relationship. now that u got this off his chest, ure happy. and he will be happy once he pleases u. how can he improve without knowing his faults eh? its good that u told him. but i hope u said it gently.
ilanac13 ilanac13 7 years
i think that it's forgivable. seeing as how you both need to be able to enjoy your time in bed...and if you're not because he's not good - well...he should know how to make it better for you ...so you have to be honest with him. i just hope that you told him in a nice and constructive way since i know that if my man told me something like that in a bad way - then i would get upset.
designerel designerel 7 years
Haha I'm glad you finally decided to share your thoughts with him on his sexual prowess, but you have to be gentle! Sounds like you were kind of blunt. You probably should've said something like "Honey I was thinking about our sex life and I want us to try some things differently..."
telane telane 7 years
I put forgive because I think people need to communicate about this stuff with their partners, and sometimes people can get hurt by someone telling them that they aren't as amazing at something as they believe they are. Even if it's said nicely. I guess I just don't see her saying that as a problem, unless she said it only to hurt him.
Indigo4320 Indigo4320 7 years
sorry for the double post! computer is on crack this am!
Indigo4320 Indigo4320 7 years
I dunno...if it has to do with his lack of trying then by all rights you said what you had to! I've been on the receiving end of this spectrum and it solely had to do with my lack of effort. I had so much stress going on around me that I didn't have the energy to put forth enough effort in the bedroom. My SO told me how he felt and I felt terrible for being so selfish and non-giving. Sometimes you just need a little wake-up call and a little honesty to get you back on track!! Things have been great since then. Sure I was a little embarrassed and hurt when the conversation was happening but I got my butt in gear and worked on changing my attitude towards sex. It was never that I wasn't into having sex it was just that I had so much going on around me that sex was the last thing on my mind. It could be the same with your boyfriend, so give him a chance to change and if nothing changes then you'll know you tried and the fault lies with him.
Indigo4320 Indigo4320 7 years
I dunno...if it has to do with his lack of trying then by all rights you said what you had to! I've been on the receiving end of this spectrum and it solely had to do with my lack of effort. I had so much stress going on around me that I didn't have the energy to put forth enough effort in the bedroom. My SO told me how he felt and I felt terrible for being so selfish and non-giving. Sometimes you just need a little wake-up call and a little honesty to get you back on track!! Things have been great since then. Sure I was a little embarrassed and hurt when the conversation was happening but I got my butt in gear and worked on changing my attitude towards sex. It was never that I wasn't into having sex it was just that I had so much going on around me that sex was the last thing on my mind. It could be the same with your boyfriend, so give him a chance to change and if nothing changes then you'll know you tried and the fault lies with him.
Indigo4320 Indigo4320 7 years
I dunno...if it has to do with his lack of trying then by all rights you said what you had to!I've been on the receiving end of this spectrum and it solely had to do with my lack of effort. I had so much stress going on around me that I didn't have the energy to put forth enough effort in the bedroom. My SO told me how he felt and I felt terrible for being so selfish and non-giving. Sometimes you just need a little wake-up call and a little honesty to get you back on track!!Things have been great since then. Sure I was a little embarrassed and hurt when the conversation was happening but I got my butt in gear and worked on changing my attitude towards sex. It was never that I wasn't into having sex it was just that I had so much going on around me that sex was the last thing on my mind. It could be the same with your boyfriend, so give him a chance to change and if nothing changes then you'll know you tried and the fault lies with him.
alexask alexask 7 years
girl, i forgive you. i had to do that once too. with someone of a year. and i would read on stuff to try to make things better for us, and try to subtly make suggestions. there are guys who are just cocky (no pun intended) or even unintentionally self-centered and think they're amazing but are only looking after themselves. and my ex did that always. it was all about him and i had to say something cause we weren't growing together.
alexask alexask 7 years
girl, i forgive you. i had to do that once too. with someone of a year. and i would read on stuff to try to make things better for us, and try to subtly make suggestions.there are guys who are just cocky (no pun intended) or even unintentionally self-centered and think they're amazing but are only looking after themselves. and my ex did that always. it was all about him and i had to say something cause we weren't growing together.
RockAndRepublic RockAndRepublic 7 years
You're probably the one that's bad in the sack. Face it, you're already bad at communication. But that's probably his fault too, how could he not read your mind?
Jessiebanana Jessiebanana 7 years
"To tell a man that he is bad in bed, is horrible! Men think with their d****."I don't think it is the woman's fault if her bf puts all of his self worth into sex. I applaud you for being honest. I can't believe you kept having bad sex for a year though. If it truly is an effort thing I hope he wakes up and gets over himself for long enough to learn something.
Jessiebanana Jessiebanana 7 years
"To tell a man that he is bad in bed, is horrible! Men think with their d****." I don't think it is the woman's fault if her bf puts all of his self worth into sex. I applaud you for being honest. I can't believe you kept having bad sex for a year though. If it truly is an effort thing I hope he wakes up and gets over himself for long enough to learn something.
GScott86 GScott86 7 years
It's like telling your significant other she's not sexy to you.
lily3484 lily3484 7 years
To tell a man that he is bad in bed, is horrible! Men think with their d****. We bash them and it goes beyond hurtful. There are definilty other ways to let a man know ways to please you better, than hurting their ego. He will not get over being told he is BAD. It will be all he thinks of and he will never let it go. Its better to just implement new positions. Please him and he will please you. Don't neglect yourself, just try out things that you like with him.
GScott86 GScott86 7 years
WOW, I put undecided, cuz that's just something you don't say. It can be forgiven, but why would you do something that dumb. I don't know if women know this, but I'll say this from a guy's perspective. When it comes to sex, ego isn't just another consideration. It's practically everything. Just because we're happy and it feels great for us, and it's easier for us to finish, doesn't mean it makes us totally happy. We want to know that we're making our woman happy. And when our woman isn't happy with performance, it tends to get us down, and well, sometimes we try harder later, and other times, it just gets our moral down. Sometimes more and more just stop trying as much due to morale. Maybe he's not trying because he doesn't enjoy it as much either. I would try different things instead, maybe get him excited, stroke his ego, teach him some things to make it better. Telling him this is just a sure way to get him to be insecure and to think maybe you're cheating on him perhaps, or that you may look elsewhere to fulfill your desires.
Juicylemon Juicylemon 7 years
Did you at least made the effort of telling him what you like and guided him? If you simply laid there while your boyfriend kept going at you unsatisfaction, its your fault.
Juicylemon Juicylemon 7 years
Did you at least made the effort of telling him what you like and guided him? If you simply laid there while your boyfriend kept going at you unsatisfaction, its your fault.
Muirnea Muirnea 7 years
I agree with smileyface. "Instead of being hurt or being egotistical and thinking that he's the sh*t when he clearly is not, he just asked what he could do better..."We should be able to talk honestly with guys about this stuff without them freaking out about their poor little ego's. Good grief, why can't they take constructive criticism in the sex department just like anything else? As long as you said it fairly nicely, I say forgive.
Muirnea Muirnea 7 years
I agree with smileyface. "Instead of being hurt or being egotistical and thinking that he's the sh*t when he clearly is not, he just asked what he could do better..." We should be able to talk honestly with guys about this stuff without them freaking out about their poor little ego's. Good grief, why can't they take constructive criticism in the sex department just like anything else? As long as you said it fairly nicely, I say forgive.
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