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True Confession — Is It Wrong to Cuddle With Another Man While in a Relationship?

Weigh in and tell us if you forgive or not forgive this True Confession.

"When my boyfriend and I fight, I have a couple guy friends I can always call to come cuddle with me. I don't have any sexual feelings towards them, but if my boyfriend knew I did this he would be devastated yet I still continue to do it. Can I be forgiven for turning to other men for comfort?"

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calli-gurl calli-gurl 7 years
well if ure guy has a problem with it, then its extremely wrong. i dont think u would be okay with him doing something u arent comfortable thing. and skigurl, good one. i voted not forgive. because ure doing something ure bf doesnt want u to do. my bf would never like it but even if he was okay with it, i wouldnt do it. i dont hug any of my guy friends. i find it weird. lol
calli-gurl calli-gurl 7 years
well if ure guy has a problem with it, then its extremely wrong. i dont think u would be okay with him doing something u arent comfortable thing. and skigurl, good one. i voted not forgive. because ure doing something ure bf doesnt want u to do. my bf would never like it but even if he was okay with it, i wouldnt do it. i dont hug any of my guy friends. i find it weird. lol
alexask alexask 8 years
i agree with the golden rule- it was totally suck to think of my bf cuddling someone after we fight- but i also think it depends on what kind of person you are naturally. if you're naturally cuddly, i don't think you should just completely anihilate your actions. but just thinking about my bf doing that makes me shudder. then again, i'm not naturally flirtatious.
puddlesworth puddlesworth 8 years
Not forgive! Are you kidding? I would NEVER forgive that! I hope your boyfriend finds out!
InfernalMari InfernalMari 8 years
I forgive, but not unconditionally and not wholeheartedly. This reminds me of the 'foot massage' debate from Pulp Fiction, and I'll follow the metaphor through. Is it worth throwing you from a third story balcony from? No. But cuddling is one of those things you do to show someone's special to you, one of those things you can act like is not a big deal when it totally is. I wouldn't object to a gay guy being a cuddle-buddy, but I think the guys you're cuddling with are assholes. Because they're being the 'nice guy, supportive friend' to a girl with a boyfriend. Poster, you're not in the clear, but I choose Forgive because it takes two to cuddle.
InfernalMari InfernalMari 8 years
I forgive, but not unconditionally and not wholeheartedly.This reminds me of the 'foot massage' debate from Pulp Fiction, and I'll follow the metaphor through. Is it worth throwing you from a third story balcony from? No. But cuddling is one of those things you do to show someone's special to you, one of those things you can act like is not a big deal when it totally is. I wouldn't object to a gay guy being a cuddle-buddy, but I think the guys you're cuddling with are assholes. Because they're being the 'nice guy, supportive friend' to a girl with a boyfriend. Poster, you're not in the clear, but I choose Forgive because it takes two to cuddle.
onesong onesong 8 years
that's bizarre
onesong onesong 8 years
that's bizarre
RockAndRepublic RockAndRepublic 8 years
Needy girls are such a turn off.
emalove emalove 8 years
This is just bizarre. And I think it's totally wrong.
shellbelle1 shellbelle1 8 years
I'm sorry but I feel like you answered you own question, you said "I know my boyfriend would be devastated, yet I still continue to do it" why would you do that?
darkangel2305 darkangel2305 8 years
Not forgive! You are just being cruel and selfish. This is inappropriate behavior and you know it.
gemstew gemstew 8 years
I think you already know that it's not right. You've said your boyfriend would be devastated if he found out and presumably you wouldn't want that to happen. I think you have to ask yourself how you would feel if you found out your boyfriend was doing what you are... although your not 'cheating', you're sharing yourself emotionally with another man. I also wonder about these other guys you turn to, are they aware that there is nothing more in it than comfort? Even though you may feel nothing, they may, and do you want to play with their feelings like that?
gemstew gemstew 8 years
I think you already know that it's not right. You've said your boyfriend would be devastated if he found out and presumably you wouldn't want that to happen.I think you have to ask yourself how you would feel if you found out your boyfriend was doing what you are... although your not 'cheating', you're sharing yourself emotionally with another man. I also wonder about these other guys you turn to, are they aware that there is nothing more in it than comfort? Even though you may feel nothing, they may, and do you want to play with their feelings like that?
Kimpossible Kimpossible 8 years
I'm very interested to know how old the OP is and how long she's been dating her boyfriend. Regardless I think you may want to start reconsidering the relationship. A) you're keeping secrets from him and B) you're going outside of the relationship by seeking comfort from other men. These are not good habits for a healthy relationship. And do not bode well for the future of this relationship.
Kimpossible Kimpossible 8 years
I'm very interested to know how old the OP is and how long she's been dating her boyfriend.Regardless I think you may want to start reconsidering the relationship. A) you're keeping secrets from him and B) you're going outside of the relationship by seeking comfort from other men. These are not good habits for a healthy relationship. And do not bode well for the future of this relationship.
kurniakasih kurniakasih 8 years
Are you...serious? Um, like the others say: STRANGE thing to do. Unless you're ok with him cuddling with other female friends after a fight with you, then...hey.
kurniakasih kurniakasih 8 years
Are you...serious? Um, like the others say: STRANGE thing to do.Unless you're ok with him cuddling with other female friends after a fight with you, then...hey.
looseseal looseseal 8 years
I'd just apply the golden rule here. If you wouldn't like it if he did the same thing, then don't do it.
kayleigh83 kayleigh83 8 years
I think you already know the answer to this. If you KNOW your boyfriend would be devastated if he found out, why would you do it? That is NOT ok. Not at all. It's fine to talk to guy friends when you're upset, maybe get a good hug for encouragement, but not snuggling. Otherwise it's just you fighting with your boyfriend and then running to another man for comfort - non-sexual feelings notwithstanding.
austerity austerity 8 years
Wow, it looks like everyone here assumes that there can be absolutely no affection between a man and a woman without any sexual tension. I voted Forgive, because I have guy friends whom I absolutely see as (little or elder) brothers and nothing, NOTHING else (the thought of even having miniscule sexual or romantic feelings for them grosses me out) and I would see no problem in going to them for comfort or a hug the same way I would to a father or brother. However, you are the best judge of whether you keep turning to the same guy and what your underlying emotions for him really are.
austerity austerity 8 years
Wow, it looks like everyone here assumes that there can be absolutely no affection between a man and a woman without any sexual tension. I voted Forgive, because I have guy friends whom I absolutely see as (little or elder) brothers and nothing, NOTHING else (the thought of even having miniscule sexual or romantic feelings for them grosses me out) and I would see no problem in going to them for comfort or a hug the same way I would to a father or brother.However, you are the best judge of whether you keep turning to the same guy and what your underlying emotions for him really are.
Meike Meike 8 years
Not forgive. Even if they aren't filling a sexual void, they are indeed filling an emotional void.
quietriott quietriott 8 years
this question has reminded me of a friend of mine who is SHOCKED that her guy friends take her wanting to cuddle in bed in either just underwear or less as a sexual advance. why on earth would a guy think a half naked girl in their bed who wants to spoon and cuddle is anything sexual at all (sarcasm)? the poster just seems like an insecure girl who needs male validation to feel good about herself.
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