My husband and I got married about a year ago. We've been invited to go on vacation and share a house for a week down at the shore with three other fantastic couples who all have either one or two children that they are planning to bring. This means that we would be staying in a five bedroom, three bathroom house with a total of 13 people.
My husband really wants to go, but I don't want to go at all. I can't think of anything less relaxing. I only get three weeks of vacation from my job all year and my husband and I barely get any time alone together due to our demanding careers. What's a good compromise to propose to my husband? And if he complies with me, how can I respond tactfully to our friends? Romance Me Nancy
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Dear Romance Me Nancy
This comes up very often for couples who don't have children of their own. Going away with families who have young kids means being on their schedule constantly. How close are you with these couples? Are you close enough to be able to reprimand their kids? If not, it can be difficult to shack up with them.
I can completely understand why you wouldn't want to compromise your long awaited vacation time to cater to the needs and the schedules of children when you guys are a newly married couple. I believe that in your first year of marriage, some quality time away alone together is very important in building a solid foundation.
I would just tell them that you just can't make it. Don't make it about the kids, just get out of it. As a compromise to your husband's sake, talk to him and the other couples about the possibility of joining them for the weekend portion of the vacation.
Your friends should be pretty understanding about it. You guys are in totally different places in your life right now. I hope that your husband is too. Kids are a ton of fun, but you certainly won't get the R&R or the romance that you are looking for if you are traveling with five of them.