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Waiting For Marriage

Dear Sugar
I'm worried about my friend who has the worst luck with guys. She's a sweetheart and very pretty so I am assuming that guys break up with her because she's a Christian and won't have premarital sex.

I respect the idea that she is waiting for "the one" before she gives up her virginity, but I am afraid that it could take her a very long time to find him. I know that there are men out there who are willing to wait for sex until marriage (Nick Lachey did) - but it's hard watching her get hurt by men that she dates.

How can I talk to her about her approach? Concerned Comrade

Dear Concerned Comrade
That's nice of you that you don't want your friend to be the next 40 year old virgin.

Explain to her that while you think it's upstanding of her to be completely open about her sexuality, it's not necessary to be 100% forthcoming right away.

On a first date, she can drop the "I am a devout Christian bomb" as a feeler and see how her date reacts. If it's a green light then only when she gets to the point of being physical with him, should she divulge her chastity vow.

Tell her that talking about views on marriage and religion trump talking about sex for at least the first leg of the relationship.

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