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Wanting a Boyfriend For the Holidays

Group Therapy: Wanting a Love Connection This Holiday Season

This question is from a Group Therapy post in our TrèsSugar Community. Add your advice in the comments!


Holiday season . . . doesn't it make you want to fall or be in love?! Or at least start a connection. Specifically with this guy who lives in the same building I do, whose parking spot in the garage is adjacent to mine, and with whom I cross paths once in a while either in the lobby or the garage. We'd always say "Hi, how are you?" but nothing substantial beyond that. I only started to notice him more recently and I have to admit I have inevitably grown to like this guy. Now, I could just be misreading signals and whatnot but something tells me that it's possible that he likes me too. He just couldn't find the chance to strike up a convo with me.

You see, for financial and cultural reasons, I live with my mom (well, vice versa because I pay the rent, lol!). And on some of the occasion that bumped into this guy I was with her hence, probably a little awkward to exchange a few more lines than hi-hello and perhaps names/numbers. And on the few occasions that I'm alone when I see him, I'm either in a hurry to get to my apartment and grab some grub and my stuff before heading out again for my evening class or just too tired from work to even utter a full sentence to him. But I'm really itching to at least know his name and let him know mine, and maybe, just maybe, eventually hang out.

Anyway, with the holiday season in the air, this might be the perfect opportunity to be bold and make the move (I'm not the type to do so). I was thinking of leaving a friendly holiday card on his windshield. Something that goes along the lines of, "Hi Volvo neighbor! We seem to always be rushing to get to our destinations so for this holiday season, I want to take some time to give you my warm wishes. Happy Holidays! From your Scion neighbor."

Now, the only reason I used our cars are for points of reference. Like I said, our cars are adjacent to each other in the garage and that's the only thing I know about him and vice versa. And obviously, I can sign my name on the card but I was thinking that wouldn't be fair — he'd already know my name and what if it turns out he actually wasn't interested in me and so won't even make an effort to acknowledge my card. That would be so embarrassing! The last thing I want to do is make a fool of myself in his eyes. Plus, keeping it partly anonymous adds to the mystery. The more I think about it though, the more I'm beginning to see it as an absurd idea and one that could just make me appear needy or, like I mentioned, foolish. What's your opinion?

Thanks in advance and HAPPY THANKSGIVING!

Have a dilemma of your own? Post it anonymously to Group Therapy for advice, and check out what else is happening in the TrèsSugar Community.

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Join The Conversation
testadura67 testadura67 4 years
I would honestly be really creeped out if someone whose name I didn't even know left a card on my car. I agree with onlysourcherry. Take the extra minute to make the conversation more than "how's it going?" and "fine". Or even just a "I see you all the time and don't even know your name, I'm---" and offer your hand. It's completely polite, friendly, and an easy in to talk for a minute. Hopefully a short conversation with him will give you an idea if he's interested or not. A couple short conversations like that, and then it would be completely ok for a card or some extra Christmas cookies or something to be given to him.
karlotta karlotta 4 years
I think the card is cute, and it puts the ball in his court to actually make the first real move. And worse comes to worst, nobody's ever died of embarrassment, especially not when so little was actually said. Go for it, it's nice and sweet and as missmary said, you have more chances of getting what you want if you actually go for it!
onlysourcherry onlysourcherry 4 years
I'm not so sure about the card. Why not just provide some details about your day when you see him (eg not "i'm good how are you?" but instead "I'm actually having one of those really, really good days. I hit all the green lights coming home, my favorite song was on, I killed it at yoga today, and now i'm meeting up with some friends for happy hour (or whatever)" to strike up an actual conversation. I don't buy that you're too busy to ever talk to him in the hallways. Carve out the five minutes.
missmaryb missmaryb 4 years
Great idea! I'll share my one of my favorite quotes... You miss 100% of the shots you don't take~Wayne Gretsky.
lcrox07 lcrox07 4 years
I think the card is a cute idea. What do you have to lose?
JoeTyndall JoeTyndall 4 years
Ask him if he can teach you how to play chess at a nearby coffee shop. Tell him you have been thinking of learning how to play ping-pong, and you were just wondering if he could teach you a little about how to play ping-pong. Think of some activity you could suggest to him. The idea here is, don't ask him out on a date, don't suggest going to his place or your place, have an activity in mind that you thought he could tag along with you and go try one afternoon or whatever.
henna-red henna-red 4 years
I think it's a GREAT idea. Make a first move. If it leads to a cup of coffee, or a great conversation, then you've had a cup of coffee and a great conversation. If it leads to just a smile and nod of the head, then you've had a smile from a pleasant man, and you've lost nothing. There's not a thing wrong with a hello on a card, and if he's unavailable for any reason, I expect you may find out. And why is it need to extend wishes to someone you may enjoy getting to know? In the middle of such a busy life, taking advantage of the opportunities life gives you is a must. And all people need other people. How can it hurt you? It's a lovely impulse, I think. And the holidays are a perfect time to leave a card. Have a happy Thanksgiving, blessed be.
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