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Watermelon-Eating Dog Provokes Stabbing

Headline of the Day

Watermelon-Eating Dog Provokes Stabbing

I'm tired as I write this, but I think that even if I were of sound mind and body, this would still make no sense. Apparently, a Boston dude stabbed himself "to prove to his brother he wasn't afraid of pain," according to police. A lot of other weird shit happens after that, and the writer of this news story seems intent on pinning it on the watermelon-eating dog (not pictured above) with the seemingly innocent words "helped cause" as in, "A dog eating a watermelon helped cause a Boston man to repeatedly stab himself..." Click here to read a news story that becomes more baffling the more you read, and please let me know if you can make heads or tails (hehe) of it. In the meantime, I say, don't blame the doggie!

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GiggleSugar GiggleSugar 7 years
Flyingroo, I hearby grant you the Nobel Prize for literature. Well, done...dude. :nerdgirl:
flyingroo flyingroo 7 years
I can imagine the argument:- Your dog ate my watermelon!- Dude, my dog dosnt't like watermelon, he's the cantaloupe type!- I'm telling ya, your dog ate my watermelon!- Dude, you're crazy, you ate the melon by himself and you forgot.- Nope, your dog ate it, I want it back!- No way, what're you gonna do, huh?- Dude, I'm gonna kick your ass!!- Dude, I don't care, I'm strong, I eat pain for breakfast!- Dude, you're gonna get it!- See if I care...look, I don't feel any pain, see, see, see *repeatedly stabbing himself*- Dude, stop that, you can have the dog, the watermelon and momma's silverware, just stop the friggin' stabbing!- Nope! I feel no pain dude, just like my dog did NOT eat your watermelon! *continues to stab himself*- Dude, someone called the cops, I'm outta here *barricading in next room*:halo: :-D
flyingroo flyingroo 7 years
I can imagine the argument: - Your dog ate my watermelon! - Dude, my dog dosnt't like watermelon, he's the cantaloupe type! - I'm telling ya, your dog ate my watermelon! - Dude, you're crazy, you ate the melon by himself and you forgot. - Nope, your dog ate it, I want it back! - No way, what're you gonna do, huh? - Dude, I'm gonna kick your ass!! - Dude, I don't care, I'm strong, I eat pain for breakfast! - Dude, you're gonna get it! - See if I care...look, I don't feel any pain, see, see, see *repeatedly stabbing himself* - Dude, stop that, you can have the dog, the watermelon and momma's silverware, just stop the friggin' stabbing! - Nope! I feel no pain dude, just like my dog did NOT eat your watermelon! *continues to stab himself* - Dude, someone called the cops, I'm outta here *barricading in next room* :halo: :-D
LuvLeoDiCaprio LuvLeoDiCaprio 7 years
Ok no smiley for that
LuvLeoDiCaprio LuvLeoDiCaprio 7 years
Ok no smiley for that
LuvLeoDiCaprio LuvLeoDiCaprio 7 years
Strange but so funny :lmao:
LuvLeoDiCaprio LuvLeoDiCaprio 7 years
Strange but so funny :lmao:
GiggleSugar GiggleSugar 7 years
:ROTFL:
Francoisehardly Francoisehardly 7 years
I agree. The dog sounds like the most normal one.
jessie jessie 7 years
wow...subliminal messages hmmm...:rotfl:...WTF???!!!
exyank exyank 7 years
Well, I read the story. Twice. I can't figure out what the hell, other than both brothers are brain-damaged or inbred or seriously drunk or something. I think the dog was the only sane one in the entire story, actually.
TxRdRaider TxRdRaider 7 years
*seriously*
TxRdRaider TxRdRaider 7 years
*seriously*
TxRdRaider TxRdRaider 7 years
serliously? how strange...
TxRdRaider TxRdRaider 7 years
serliously? how strange...
nylorac nylorac 7 years
I think this is one of the funniest and most absurd stories I've ever heard, granted that everyone is OK. It's kind of funny because the stabbed man reminds me of an overly-confident friend :)
nylorac nylorac 7 years
I think this is one of the funniest and most absurd stories I've ever heard, granted that everyone is OK. It's kind of funny because the stabbed man reminds me of an overly-confident friend :)
anaisethenry anaisethenry 7 years
How many watermelon eating dogs are there?
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