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Website du Jour: Sleep Talkin' Man

Website du Jour: Sleep Talkin' Man

As someone who sleep talks on occasion, I get extremely embarrassed when someone hears me. Going back as far as middle school sleepovers, I find it mortifying that I can say such nonsensical and potentially revealing things with absolutely no control. This fact should make me feel sorry for Adam, an Englishman whose wife records and then blogs the "colorful existence" he lives in his dreams, but I can't help but laugh. The site, My Sleep Talkin' Man, is simply too outrageous.

Here are some of the best sleepy sentences from Adam:

  • "Snail fiddling is not an occupation I'd be proud of. You dirty f*cker."
  • "You can't be a pirate if you don't have a beard. I said so. MY boat, MY rules."
  • "My badger's gonna unleash hell on your ass. Badgertastic!"
  • "I'm baking pillows. Burn them slowly, keeps them fluffy! Mmmmmm, pillows."
  • "I don't want to die! I love sex. And furry animals."
  • "No, not the cats. Don't trust them. Their eyes. Their eyes. They know too much."
  • "Hey, don't . . . don't say anything. Why don't you put it in an email, then I can ignore it at my pleasure."

Isn't it just so badgertastic?

Source: Flickr User Evil Erin

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Yogaforlife Yogaforlife 6 years
I sleep talk all the time. My husband usually stays up an hour or so later than me, and he says I'll start talking right after I fall asleep, usually I'm yelling at him. Or I'll keep saying I have to pee over and over. My brother is a sleep talker too.
Yogaforlife Yogaforlife 6 years
I sleep talk all the time. My husband usually stays up an hour or so later than me, and he says I'll start talking right after I fall asleep, usually I'm yelling at him. Or I'll keep saying I have to pee over and over.My brother is a sleep talker too.
countchocula countchocula 6 years
This doesn't have to be fake. I'm a notorious sleep talker among my friends and family... therefore I hate sleepovers. I wake up to people giggling around me and apparently I say the craziest stuff ever... and apparently clearly enough for people to be reciting them the next day (and unfortunately, some have been immortalized as inside jokes). It's funny for the bystanders but insanely embarrassing for the sleep talker! Now I finally get to be a bystander. :-D This blog is hilarious!
countchocula countchocula 6 years
This doesn't have to be fake. I'm a notorious sleep talker among my friends and family... therefore I hate sleepovers. I wake up to people giggling around me and apparently I say the craziest stuff ever... and apparently clearly enough for people to be reciting them the next day (and unfortunately, some have been immortalized as inside jokes). It's funny for the bystanders but insanely embarrassing for the sleep talker!Now I finally get to be a bystander. :-D This blog is hilarious!
Am9 Am9 6 years
Too funny... need to share this one.
jessie jessie 6 years
My husband talks in his sleep sometimes...one day he said..."take the baby" and proceeded to "hand' the baby over... one morning I found him on his knees trying to reach above the bed...like reaching for something....I gently prodded him..woke him up.....his first reaction was....what the f**k am I doing?!!?
postmodernsleaze postmodernsleaze 6 years
I didn't know someone could speak this clearly in their sleep... usually when I hear someone sleeptalk, it's a lot of "mMmmmmMMm mmaaah blah blah mmmaaahhhh mmmm" I've always been a still sleeper, but my brother was camping once and jumped up into the corner of the tent and starting FREAKING out like "WHERE THE F*CK AM I? WHAT THE F*CK IS HAPPENING?"
postmodernsleaze postmodernsleaze 6 years
I didn't know someone could speak this clearly in their sleep... usually when I hear someone sleeptalk, it's a lot of "mMmmmmMMm mmaaah blah blah mmmaaahhhh mmmm"I've always been a still sleeper, but my brother was camping once and jumped up into the corner of the tent and starting FREAKING out like "WHERE THE F*CK AM I? WHAT THE F*CK IS HAPPENING?"
mscc mscc 6 years
Oh yeah, and another favorite is "Don't leave the duck there. It's totally irresponsible." I love these random quotes about animals! He seems to have a LOT of them.
mscc mscc 6 years
Oh yeah, and another favorite is "Don't leave the duck there. It's totally irresponsible." I love these random quotes about animals! He seems to have a LOT of them.
mscc mscc 6 years
I saw this on The Today Show this morning My favorite audio clip, prim British accent and all, was "I can't control the kittens. Too many whiskers. Too many whiskers..." I don't care if the blog is real or not. These are just the funniest and weirdest things someone could say! :)
mscc mscc 6 years
I saw this on The Today Show this morning My favorite audio clip, prim British accent and all, was "I can't control the kittens. Too many whiskers. Too many whiskers..." I don't care if the blog is real or not. These are just the funniest and weirdest things someone could say! :)
tlsgirl tlsgirl 6 years
My new favorite word is "badgertastic."
HoneyBrown1976 HoneyBrown1976 6 years
I am crying as I type this. It's hilarious. What is it with men and cats? My husband had weird dreams about cats, too.
HoneyBrown1976 HoneyBrown1976 6 years
I am crying as I type this. It's hilarious. What is it with men and cats? My husband had weird dreams about cats, too.
xgreenfairyx xgreenfairyx 6 years
I listened to the audio from this guy, and its pretty clear this is a hoax. I mean, the couple are making tshirts and getting crazy media attention. It might be funny, but it's all for show. Don't believe it.
Beauty Beauty 6 years
My college roommate said that one morning, I sat up in bed, announced, "Now you listen here, Ben Franklin!" and went back to sleep.
runningesq runningesq 6 years
Awesome ! (I really hope my husband doesn't decide to do this... :P)
dexaholic dexaholic 6 years
This is amazing! My brothers used to sleeptalk and have conversations with each other! My sister and I would always laugh ourselves silly during camping trips!
dexaholic dexaholic 6 years
This is amazing!My brothers used to sleeptalk and have conversations with each other! My sister and I would always laugh ourselves silly during camping trips!
AujahAcorn AujahAcorn 6 years
HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA!!! this made my day!
fuzzles fuzzles 6 years
Hilarious! :rotfl:
fuzzles fuzzles 6 years
Hilarious! :rotfl:
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