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What to Do When Ex Watches Porn

"Mommy, Daddy Looks at Boobies"

This post comes from Group Therapy in our TrèsSugar Community. Feel free to add your advice in the comments!

So my kid's dad and I aren't together anymore. He lives in an apartment with a roommate, but when she spends the night with him they usually go to his parents' house because there's more room and toys and she sees her cousins more frequently.

So the other day, my four year old said to me, "Mommy, Daddy was looking at boobies on the 'puter, but sshhhhhh because it's a secret." If I remember the layout of his parents' computer room correctly, the computer screen is turned away from the door, so anyone entering the room can't see it. Maybe they changed it, I don't know. She is very honest and intelligent, and I don't doubt what she's saying at all.

Sometimes when she and I are on the computer and looking at fashion slideshows, a boob will pop up on the screen, and I don't overreact about it (more about that). I can't in any way see him looking at some fashion article. I'm about 99.999 percent sure he was looking at porn and she caught him.

If he has to rub one out while she's there, whatever. I just really think he should do it in the shower or something. And if he is going to be looking at porn while she's there, he should really be quick enough to turn it off before she sees. This really upsets me that he's being so careless about what he's exposing her to.

He and I had a very bad break-up, so bad that his father acts as a go-between when he wants to see her: calling me, setting up pick-up times, relaying messages (and before anyone says it, yes it really was that bad of a break-up). If I bring this up to his father, it will only cause drama, so I'm planning on dropping it unless it happens again. He and I also used to indulge in adult movies/toys/magazines, so I almost feel like I'm the pot and he's the kettle, you know?

Am I over-reacting? Doing the right thing? Not doing enough? What do you think?

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