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What Do You Do When You're in the Middle of a Fight?

What Do You Do When You're in the Middle of a Fight?

We've all been there. Two of our friends, family, or colleagues are not getting along, and they both want to vent to us about it.

One user recently posted such a dilemma in Group Therapy. She's currently in the middle of her sister-in-law and mother who do not get along and she's looking for advice on how to tell both of them they need to work it out on their own.

How do you handle being pulled in two directions?


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lickety-split lickety-split 6 years
Usually say something like "what's the problem THIS TIME". Like, here we go again. If that doesn't stop them I add "I'm not part of this: and I don't want to be", and either say I need to go or change the subject.
Frenched Frenched 6 years
UGH, I hate this 'cause I tend to sympathize a lot with BOTH parties and see both their points. I try to reach a middle ground, though. I try to tell them to put themselves in the other person's shoes. That usually helps a little.
hypnoticmix hypnoticmix 6 years
I've been there and if you haven't guessed I'm a pretty pragmatic person who has a firm grasp on logic. At least that's what I like to think ;-)> I get a kick out of the expression on peoples faces when they here what I have to say and you can see that they understand and acknowledge the logic but for the life of them they can't set aside the emotion so they ignore the logic. I've never had that issue so I can't relate to letting my emotions get the best of me. Yeah I get upset but then for me at least reason swoops in and saves the day.
postmodernsleaze postmodernsleaze 6 years
I'm always just honest from the beginning when this type of situation happens. I say, "This is not my fight and I am not going to get stuck in the middle of an argument that I am not involved in. I will listen to you if you need to talk, but do not expect me to take sides."
totygoliguez totygoliguez 6 years
This happens to me all the time. When my bro and mom I found myself in the middle. The best thing to do is to be honest with them, and tell them that it is something that they need to work out themselves, that you have no business getting involve, and that you don't want to get involve.
Hiding55 Hiding55 6 years
Just listen. It's never good to get involved by sharing your opinion on the matter. I'll only go as far as to tell both people they are being silly and to talk or yell it out with each other. I really hate getting involved in other peoples arguments.
MissSushi MissSushi 6 years
I'm in this situation with my sister and mother. They're both being pigheaded and I just told them I don't think either of them are right and wasn't interested in getting in the middle. I let my mother vent to me because she really has no one else, but i don't offer any advice/solutions or anything, and i don't let it affect my relationship with my sister.
fuzzles fuzzles 6 years
I clap both of my hands over my ears and loudly exclaim "La la la la la, I can't hear you!" several times before leaving the area in search of the nearest beer.
GlowingMoon GlowingMoon 6 years
Passively bow out. I am uneasy when I'm in that position, and I would remove myself for my psychological health.
mamasitamalita mamasitamalita 6 years
I do just like the chick in the picture and pour myself a nice big glass of wine.
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