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What's His Deal?

What's His Deal?

This post comes from Group Therapy in our TrèsSugar Community. Feel free to add your advice in the comments!

So this guy and I have been dating about seven months. I started seeing him pretty soon after a breakup and that has caused some problems for the relationship. I'm quite guarded and everything that spells COMMITMENT (like meeting family, calling each other boyfriend/girlfriend, etc) has freaked me out. But, I really like this guy so I've pushed through my anxiety about getting into another LTR. However, late last month, I had kind of a colossal meltdown.

We had an amazing night together — one of the best in my life no doubt. We had a wonderful date — just a great, great time together, and we were just feeling so in love, so smitten. It was amazing. The next night, however, I freaked, and basically broke up with him. He looked like he was punched in the stomach.

Immediately afterwards, I felt horrible. We talked a few days later about how I'm just having trouble being vulnerable and that every time the relationship gets to a new level I throw up some kind of wall and retreat.

He forgave me for freaking out, said there was something about me and that he wanted to be with me. He said that if he didn't see a long-term possibility for us, that he wouldn't bother getting back together, because it's been really hard for him to have me always about to run. I told him I understood and that I'd work really hard at just being in the relationship and letting myself be vulnerable.

Fast forward until now, about three weeks later.

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We've stayed together, but things have really changed. He's not as forthcoming with the "I love yous" anymore, he doesn't call as much, and just seems guarded. I asked him about it last week and he said he's just feeling really cautious about everything that happened.

Intellectually I understand that, but it sucks to feel him pulling away. Things are better now than they were a couple weeks ago, but I guess I foolishly thought things would just go right back to where they were before my freak out.

Should I just be patient and wait to see if things return to normal? Anyone have any other insight into what might be happening? Please help!

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