Surely, somewhere there's a club called Animal Kingdom, but I doubt its owner knows just how right on his naming instincts were. Psychologist Nick Neave took his hypothesis that dancing in clubs is no different than courtship movement rituals animals exhibit to find what exactly is and isn't attractive about men dancing. I'd say any time a man dances to show off his body, his beer, or his perceived coordination, it's a turnoff, but I may be the minority.
Since movements signify an animal's health, age, fertility, and hormone status in the wild, Neave believed the same would hold true for men on the dance floor. He asked 12 men, between 18-35, to groove to German dance music while 12 cameras filmed from every angle. The moves were turned into dancing avatars, which women rated on a scale of one to seven. The men with most attractive moments proved to be the healthiest, based on blood samples Neave took.
What's hot? Well, if the video above isn't enough to turn on your own primal instincts, here's a breakdown. Speed, variety of movements (twisting, bending, moving, nodding), and in-control torsos, necks, and heads (i.e. not flailing about) make good dancing. Twitchy and repetitive movements (apparently the technical term is "dad dancing") and movements that involved the legs and arms, but not the rest of the body, are bad.
So Jersey Shore fist-pumping? A scientifically proven turnoff.