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What Makes a Man Bad in Bed

Red Flags to Watch Out For in Bed

"The bedroom can be a place where men really expose their true colors," according to Natasha Burton, coauthor of The Little Black Book of Big Red Flags. She says there are certain behaviors you should look out for when you're getting busy or even just thinking about getting busy with a new man. "Being intimate with someone can bring up all kinds of emotions and vulnerabilities, so red flags that occur between the sheets can really confuse your feelings," Natasha explains. To help you out, Natasha identified the following signals that should get a guy kicked out of bed — for good.

He treats you like a slut. "Even if your relationship is largely sex-based," Natasha advises, "a man should still be interested in your comfort and pleasure — not using your body as if it's simply there for his disposal. Without some tenderness, sex becomes more business transaction than intimate encounter . . . in which case, you may as well ask him to leave you a check by the nightstand."

He doesn't want to get off . . . or can't. "Sure, guys can be tired, upset, or not in the mood: but if your guy is only game for getting you off, and doesn't want you to reciprocate, it's a red flag that shouldn't be ignored and could even indicate a medical problem," she warns. "Something is definitely up, if his penis isn't."

He pressures you to do something you don't want to. "Plain and simple: If you don't feel comfortable doing something in bed, and a guy makes you feel bad about it or tries to convince you to change your mind, you, honey, need to run away fast," Natasha says. "This control freak does not respect your boundaries."

He tries things on you without asking. "We know a gal whose boyfriend peed on her in the shower 'just to see what it was like.' Talk about rude, inconsiderate, and, well, gross."

He's just terrible in bed. But not in the way you'd expect . . . "Bad bedroom etiquette or skills are one thing: A guy who makes you feel insecure or uncomfortable when you're having sex with him is another," Natasha cautions. "Whether he's too aggressive, disrespectful, or chauvinistic, he has forgotten this simple fact: Having sex with you is a privilege. Make sure he knows that."

Natasha's advice focuses on finding a sexual partner who respects you and makes you feel comfortable. Do you think these qualities are easy to detect before you get busy?

For more advice on dating red flags, check out our series with the authors, or pick up their book The Little Black Book of Big Red Flags.

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